Mary, You have perfectly expressed the suffering of all of us who come here and are trying to manage. How do we have any hope or get through a day? No one has an answer. We all just take baby steps towards what a day might hold. Some days we get through them a bit less destroyed than others. The hope is that if you get through one day maybe you wont wake up for another. That's the hope. So far I haven't found the key for that door. Its lonely and dark, you're right, I wont lie. And the thought of waking up every day is what keeps me from going to sleep at night. Maybe I think the if I stay up late enough I wont wake up again because I'll need to sleep forever. That door hasn't worked either.
After four years and one month I am not quite as desperate. I don't break down everywhere like I used to. I am better able to take showers, brush teeth, dress and do what used to be second nature. Now I have to think it all through. It is "better" as far as functioning which can help quell a bit of the grief but like many in here I am going to be one of the ones that will never get over my husbands death. I am existing the best I can, doing the best I can and I don't ask too much of myself. Thats it. Thats how I get through a day.
It isn't much but thats what I was left. My husband was my sacred place I went to for everything. Now that everything is gone and I can only hope I will be reunited with him in a different space, in a different time. And I hope that for everyone else here........
How do you all that have experienced the worst pain manage to have any hope for tomorrow or get through the day? It is so incredibly lonely and dark. I hate the thought of going to bed and waking to another day of the same thing.
Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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Mary, You have perfectly expressed the suffering of all of us who come here and are trying to manage. How do we have any hope or get through a day? No one has an answer. We all just take baby steps towards what a day might hold. Some days we get through them a bit less destroyed than others. The hope is that if you get through one day maybe you wont wake up for another. That's the hope. So far I haven't found the key for that door. Its lonely and dark, you're right, I wont lie. And the thought of waking up every day is what keeps me from going to sleep at night. Maybe I think the if I stay up late enough I wont wake up again because I'll need to sleep forever. That door hasn't worked either.
After four years and one month I am not quite as desperate. I don't break down everywhere like I used to. I am better able to take showers, brush teeth, dress and do what used to be second nature. Now I have to think it all through. It is "better" as far as functioning which can help quell a bit of the grief but like many in here I am going to be one of the ones that will never get over my husbands death. I am existing the best I can, doing the best I can and I don't ask too much of myself. Thats it. Thats how I get through a day.
It isn't much but thats what I was left. My husband was my sacred place I went to for everything. Now that everything is gone and I can only hope I will be reunited with him in a different space, in a different time. And I hope that for everyone else here........
How do you all that have experienced the worst pain manage to have any hope for tomorrow or get through the day? It is so incredibly lonely and dark. I hate the thought of going to bed and waking to another day of the same thing.
I'm also sorry for your loss.
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