Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kerri Davis on December 4, 2016 at 10:56pm

Julie - I lost my husband of 12 years and my 3 year old niece nearly a month apart. I know how devastating this is for you. There really are no words to comfort you right now, but I'm so glad that you are reaching out. I've found that talking to people, even if you don't know them, works for me. In fact, it's better when I don't know them. If you ever need an ear, please reach out. Please know you are not alone.

Permalink Reply by annjulie on December 7, 2016 at 1:04am

thanks kerri sorry for your losses multiple loss so close together is so unfair sending love

Permalink Reply by Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong on December 4, 2016 at 11:38pm

Annjulie - Kerri put it perfectly, "If you ever need and ear, please reach out. Please know that you are not alone." 

I am so very sorry for losses, I lost my best friend and dad 7 days apart. It was and still is very very hard. I found that journaling helps, as well as meditation. I'm not sure if these would help you right now, your loss is so new. I have found that telling people on this site my story helps a lot. I can tell my whole story and not be judged. My family did not like my friend, so they are no help. On this site no one judges, there are so many sad stories. And everyone is willing to help.

LISA

Permalink Reply by annjulie on December 7, 2016 at 1:06am

Hi lisa thanks for your kind words. i've started journaling a bit but my mind is scrambled, multiple loss is hard how long has it been for you thanks sending love

Permalink Reply by Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong on December 7, 2016 at 1:39pm

Annjulie, 

I found my friend's dead body on Dec 18 2016, which was, to put it simply, the most horrific thing I have ever seen. My Dad -- who was my Superman -- passed in his sleep on Dec 27 2016, 9 days apart. I think I said 7 days before.  I struggled for months with PTSD,  i was numb, and like you said scrambled thoughts. My family Dr put me on antidepressant and anti-anxiety meds which do help, I sleep better.

It is not an easy road, please reach out and talk to anyone who will listen.  I also talked to a counselor a few times.

Stay strong, we are all here to listen.

LISA

Permalink Reply by Ruthie on December 5, 2016 at 3:44pm

Julie, I am sorry for your losses.  You are my daughter's age and she is just having trouble going through her dad's death on 1-7-16.  She found a wonderful counselor, that she still sees every week, to help her get through each week. I do not have two losses, but my husband was shot by his father while hunting and he denies it--the injustice part I have too, which adds to the grief.   Ruthie

Permalink Reply by annjulie on December 7, 2016 at 1:08am

thanks Ruthie sorry for your loss the injustice part is the worst i will try couselling i just went back to work today after 1 month of being off sending love

Permalink Reply by Kerri Davis on December 7, 2016 at 10:13pm

For me, going back to work was a good thing.  My husband was not a part of my world there, so it was easy to be distracted by work. I hope going back to work gives you some sense of normalcy. 

Permalink Reply by Stehanie Loughmiller on December 7, 2016 at 9:28am

I am so very sorry for you loss. I cant imagine what your going through right now :( (((((hugs)))))

Permalink Reply by Stehanie Loughmiller on December 7, 2016 at 9:33am

I lost my father on 12-23-2013. we hadn't spoke in 8 months, he caught pneumonia and quickly slipped into a coma, liquid filled up in his lungs and he never recovered. He was the sticky glue that held my family together...since his death my family will have absolutely nothing to do with me, my wife and I were not welcome at the funereal.... my dad's side pretends i don't exist. Nobody knows the pain i deal with on a day to day basis....or how shitty I felt when I got married this past summer and NONE of my family showed their support. I found this place months after my daddy passed and it really helped me get through some hard days....days i felt like i wanted to kill myself, and If i had who would of cared? I hope somehow you can find peace in your situation, to loose your mother is one thing, but your boyfriend too? honey i am so so sorry.

Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on December 21, 2016 at 6:27pm

Julie .I know how you feel.I am a male and lived with a male since college days and we built a retirement home and invaders came in and sot me three times and shot my partner directly in his heart and he died instantly and that was October 2 2012      but I am getting better day by day and you will get better with time.I will pray for you every day  Staszu  

Permalink Reply by S.a.m. on December 23, 2016 at 7:38am

I'm so sorry Julie for what you are going through. I just wanted to reiterate what others have already said...you are not alone. I know it feels like it..especially after losing two people so important and close to you. Sending you a big hug. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to.