Holidays Again

Well, here I go again, my fourth year without my husband to celebrate the holdiays together, I just hate them and wish I could just sleep through them, being with family or friends is of no help, it makes it worse to see them so happy. Any suggestions?

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on November 9, 2016 at 11:03am

Me too, Linda (I feel alone even when I am with my family).

If it helps you even a little bit to go to Michigan for Christmas, then I think it's good that you do it.

What is a "Tree of Life" event?

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 9, 2016 at 11:46am

Our community hospice, has a yearly event in honor of our loved ones now not with us. It is a beautiful tribute. 

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 10, 2016 at 8:48am

Hi Anne, 

I have never taken this necklace off my neck since the day he died 5/5/2013, i like your idea of having the bands melted together, Julian and I had our favorite song "Endless Love", he still is every step I take and every breath I take.

Permalink Reply by Ruthie on November 9, 2016 at 8:50am

I am dreading the holidays and this is just my first holiday season without Kevin--I have huge family--but it was just three of us in our little family--Kevin, me and our daughter Tonya. Then right after it will be my first anniversary of death on 1-7-17. I have told everyone I just want to be alone so I do not have to pretend to be okay. I hope I am gone before it becomes my 4th year.

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 9, 2016 at 10:35am

This is my fourth Christmas without my wonderful Julian, I am going to Gulfstream Park in Hallandale with my little dog Babie J. and relive past Christmases that we spend there.

Permalink Reply by Ruthie on November 9, 2016 at 10:48am

I love your husband's name--it is unique. Babie J is so darling and I am sure she brings you comfort.  I guessed she with the pink color.lol

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 9, 2016 at 11:39am

Thank you, she is a very loving dog, going to be 12 on Christmas Eve, she fills my empty heart. My Husband hated his name as a kid, he got teased at school, but I loved it.

Permalink Reply by Louise on November 27, 2016 at 11:40am
I am so dreading this Christmas. My husband passed away 30th Sept and this coming holiday would have been the first one we spent together as newlyweds as we married earlier this year. I wanted it to be so special; to think I've planned my wedding and my husbands funeral in the same year is devastating to me. I have barely left my house this month because I do not want to see decorations all over the place and hear Christmas music. I don't feel I have anything to celebrate and I want no part of it AT ALL; yet my family want to go ahead. I just have no idea how the hell im going to get through this. I suspect alcohol may play a very large part. Sending all my love to everyone going through this shit x
Permalink Reply by bluebird on November 27, 2016 at 12:16pm

I know what you mean. Christmas used to be my favorite holiday; now I hate this time of year.  Happy couples, happy families....blech, I don't fucking want to see it. I can't stand to listen to Christmas carols, I hate Christmas shopping, I haven't decorated for or celebrated Christmas in 4 years (since my husband died), and I never will again.  Same with New Year's Eve, as that is the anniversary of when we "officially" became a couple. So now I just stay in and either stay awake and cry all night or take a sleeping pill and sleep right through it. I wish I could do that for the rest of my life....

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 27, 2016 at 2:59pm

Hi Bluebird,

I can't stand to listen to Christmas songs anymore either, I do the same on New Year's Eve, take two pills and go to sleep. I just wish I wouldn't wake up. 

Permalink Reply by bluebird on November 27, 2016 at 3:13pm

Same here, Linda. 

Except that I need to live as long as our cat does, to take care of him. But ASAP after that....

Permalink Reply by Louise on November 27, 2016 at 1:22pm
Bluebird, I'm right there with you on that one. I hadn't even thought about New Year's; I may take a leaf out of your book and sleep through it x

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