"i miss mom so mush i do"
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REQUIEM
On this bright and early morning of Black Friday, when I have already been up since 1:30.I still ponder the pointlessness of it all. I post this little ditty about my feelings on the holidays
REQUIEM
THIS UNWELCOME SEASON OF SOLITUDE, IMBUED OFTEN WITH TEARS AND AS OFTEN WITH THE HOPE OF A FINAL WISH…A SEASON’S BLESSING POSSIBLY. NOW THAT SHE HAS LEFT ME AND THE DAYS GROW SHORTER AND DARKER AND THE OPENING OF THE DOOR BY FAMILIAR HANDS DOESN'T COME ANYMORE AS IF LOST ALONG THE WAY. I DO NOT LOOK FORWARD TO THE BLEAK UNSETTLING CHILL OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON. SOME DISFIGURED MOCKERY….I WOULD RATHER PREFER AN ENDLESS SLEEP AND A JOYOUS REUNION WITH MY BRIDE. I WOULD DIE AND IT WOULD BE THE BEST THING.
Mel
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mel Royer on
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Hey Michael......I wrote that little verse at 3am this morning. I was thinking about the holidays kicking in and all the time Nancy and I spent fighting the mall traffic, the people, the sales clerks and how much we hated that part of the holiday. But then I fixed on the reality of my loss this year..the fact that Nancy is gone forever. Something I didn't feel last season..I was numb. Not this year. But, I have been anticipating this time of year for quite a long time. I am certain these painful emotions will ease up a bit after the holidays are over but, for me, this stabbing, burning sense of desperation, sadness and loss will continue. Like you and many others here, we just don't get over losing our best friends, soul mates, confidantes, counselors, lovers and so much more and knowing they wouldn't want us to feel this way really doesn't ease the pain. All I do is always pray for each of us here on the grief site and hope that this awful pain of loss, somehow, someday will be a little better understood. God bless you!
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Permalink Reply by Maxey on
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Solitude is the correct word! I sit here tonight, and I actually "hear" the silence! I hate it; it is deafening, lonely, sad, and unbearable. I have to get up soon since I feel like I am in that movie where I am the only person left on earth - I will go do the usual - turn on the TV for some human voice to break the stillness.
Peace to all - I keep saying that, but I do not think any of us really feels much peace when we there is such a longing in us.
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