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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by John Barry on October 28, 2016 at 12:19am

Griefshare

For those of you facing a loss, there is a group called Grief Share. Many churches have meetings. I went to them after the loss of my mother 3 years ago. They also have a special meeting for making it through the holidays. You need to be with others who will understand what you're going through.

Comment by Nb on October 28, 2016 at 12:01am
My son died 2 months ago, on August 26. He was 18, my third of fourth, and I am really struggling today. I feel, today, so bereft, so deeply sad.
Comment by Gabrielle on October 26, 2016 at 5:32pm
Dear Louise,
I am so sorry. My little sister died 20 months and 2 weeks ago. I helped raise her from a baby (I was 8 years older). She grew up into my absolute best friend, soulmate, the ONLY person I have ever been truly myself around. She died unexpectedly at 22 years old. I feel so terrible for you that you're just beginning this path. I'm not going to patronise you by telling you it gets better, because I know that's not what you want to hear right now. You don't even want to accept that it's happened, let alone contemplate it ever getting better. All I will say is come on here and vent as often as you want. People here understand the relentless, continual pain. I wish I could say things have got lighter after 20 months but they haven't. Immense love and immense grief go hand in hand. ONE BIT of advice I can give you is BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You are so early on in this grief process. If you want to lie in bed all day crying then do it. If you want to have a bath and eat chocolate then do that. Cook your favourite meal and watch your favourite tv programme. None of it will make things better, but it might just keep you going. I'm still not seeing any purpose in life and my greatest wish is to go to sleep and never wake up. Especially as sleep is already my greatest respite from the anguish. But I have parents who absolutely need me to be alive, and therefore I'm going to have to make this life more bearable for myself somehow. Try and think the same- how can you make each day bearable? And don't think further than a day at a time, because I know how horrifying it is. I'm so sorry you are in this place. We at here for you.
Gabrielle x
Comment by Imed on October 26, 2016 at 1:59pm
On the 29th of october 2015 I lost the love of my life .. She was 22 .. Perfectly healthy .. Successful loved by everyone .. She meant the world to me .. Some idiot drove through a red light and smashed her car from her side .. She had a severe concussion and she left this world shortly after that.. It s been one year now but i am still lost .. I still remember that feeling of waking up and wishing that it was a dream .. And that i have to wake up ... Still have the image of myself with tears on the bus and the look people gave me .. Still remember the ghost i have become .. Now i m just surviving .. No taste in life .. I used to be so strong mentally .. I used to have that self motivating part of me that makes me face whatever life throws at me .. Now i just feel too heavy .. Too stiff .. No motivation .. Nothing .. It is affecting my work .. I am performing less in my classes and i want to be the teacher my students expect me to be.. But i just can t .. All there is now .. Is fractions of the old me that am trying to recollect what s left of them hoping that one day i can regain that spark i used to have .. Coz i know that s what she would want me to do and she would want to be .. Am 28 and i feel like this experience made me much older .. It was such an unexpected thing that i am stillsuffering from the trauma of losing her .. On saturday am lighting a candle for her and just can t go through this week without thinking how at this exact moment last year i was the happiest man on earth
Comment by Louise on October 26, 2016 at 12:44pm
Hello. I just joined this group. I lost my dear husband, my soulmate of nearly 10 years just under a month ago and I feel completely devastated. He took his own life, something he planned and kept secret from me. Life has been hell, like I'm living in a nightmare and I still feel like I will wake up any minute. This same year I have organised and attended our wedding, our honeymoon & my husbands funeral all within the same 4 month period. It is too much to bear. I am in so much pain and confusion I don't know what to do with myself. No one understands what I'm going through, I have so many confusing and conflicting emotions. I feel so alone and lost without him. It is unbearable.
Comment by Kimberly on October 25, 2016 at 7:49pm
It's like I can't breath sometimes.
Comment by Ruthie on October 17, 2016 at 10:12am

Leslie, I understand your numb periods, must be how are bodies continue on--darn it.  I also understand not getting justice and closure for your husband. It too adds to the pain.  take care:)

Comment by samantha on October 17, 2016 at 2:51am
samantha
It has been just over a month since my mom's sudden death. She died from renal failure, sepsis, pneumonia aspiration and heart failure. I feel so lost and in such a dark place. I can't see any light. I don't feel her around me like people say i would. Does that make me a bad person? I cry everyday. About GOOD memories or BAD memories. I cry about everything. I feel like it's my fault she is gone and i feel all alone. Nobody knows how sad and broken i really feel. Everyone seems to be getting on with their lives but i feel stuck. I miss her so much it LITERALLY hurts. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I have asked God to please help me but everyday i wake up still sad. Still in disbelief. Still broken. The last memories i have with her are so heart braking and sad. My son who is four was close to her and always tells me he is sad bc he misses his grandmom. That just adds to my sadness.
Comment by Gabrielle on August 26, 2016 at 3:44am
Hi Kenna, I'm so sorry, it's so dreadful isn't it. It was a sudden loss for me as well. Zero time to mentally prepare. And I understand all the feelings you express. I'm a year ahead of you on this awful journey and I'm afraid the disbelief I feel that this is permanent has not changed. X
Comment by Angela renteria on August 5, 2016 at 3:03pm

I lost my husband almost 7weeks ago tomorrow. It has been the worst thing I have ever experienced. My husband had problems with alcohol addiction. But he was the most and giving man I know. We had 17beautiful years together with 4 young children. The weeks leading up to his hospitalization he had seen a liver specialist . At the time I didn't know and I don't think he knew that his liver was in failure. He stopped drinking completely and changed his diet. I am so proud of him for that because he struggled. He was weak but he did everything the doctor asked of him. He told me he wanted to live. The morning before he went to the hospital, he was sleeping and he was taking long shallow breaths. His feet were extremely swollen. I told him he needed to go to the e.r.  I packed his clothes thinking he word be there a couple days at the most. His friend picked him up , I told him I loved him and I would be up there to see him. I call the hospital to ask to speak to him and he was in the e.r. . He told me they were taking blood from him and he would close me back , I told I loved him and that would be the last time he would speak to me. I called back to the hospital a few hours later and they told me he was admitted to the shock trauma unit and wasn't able to talk to me but that they would have him call me. By the next morning the social worker called asking if I was his wife or next of kin because he had been placed on life support and could no longer breath on his own. 5 weeks later he had multiple organ failure and passed away June 18th . I miss him so much to the point it physically hurts when I think about never seeing him again. Everything is a memory of him and of us. I just want him back .

 

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