I don't know if I should say this considering my experience is a bit different. but I need to kind of talk about my feelings. I recently lost someone I cared much about. My guy friend That I wanted to meet from online. We would video chat and what not, He unexpectedly passed away.. He was 26 and had a aneurysm which caused a stroke.   It hurts quite a bit, especially since now well never experience the things we would talk about, that's the hard part to live with. I wish I had allowed to come over when he would ask. Now everything is gone. I sent a paper rose wreath I made to the funeral home for the memorial service. His mom has the wreath. I had to do something.

I found out some wonderful things about him and some sad things since his passing. The first days I cried like I never cried before. I couldn't keep food down and  didn't want to get up. I'm doing a bit better now. However, it's still difficult  to sleep at times and sometimes I feel like breaking down, but I don't want to cry anymore . Most days I still expect him to text me or call or even randomly bump into each other ironically, but that is wishful thinking. Sometimes I think i see small signs he is with me.  I see him in my dreams, or I see a random butterfly,(which is Ironic since I used to call him my social butterfly.) but then i  sigh and think again that it's wishful thinking. 

Who knew it would hurt so much losing someone from online.. 

Tags: butterfly, friend, grief, grieving, loss, loved, memorial, one, regrets, sadness

Views: 150

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

so sorry i am iv met lodeds of grt pepl on hear if i losss thm i no it wud hurtt me it wud

Thank you for understanding 

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service