Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on July 6, 2016 at 11:06am

I lost my Husband to colon cancer over 3 years ago and I still grieve for him. When people tell me I should move on, I tell to mind their own business and I will grieve and speak of my beloved Husband if I want too. People including my own family are a bunch of assholes who know nothing of losing a wonderful spouse. Most of them are in unhappy relationships or marriage.

Permalink Reply by pamela winmill on July 6, 2016 at 12:11pm

My 2 daughter in laws caused a lot of trouble at his funeral I now don't talk to my 2 sons I have a lovely daughter and another great son, just found out the one who ruined the funeral is planning to do a charity swim in my husbands name she really is a piece  of work, I have been a wreck  all day, thank you all for your support its comforting to know I can talk to people who know exactly  how I am feeling. My love to you all xxx

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on July 6, 2016 at 1:03pm

We are all with you.

Permalink Reply by pamela winmill on July 6, 2016 at 1:22pm

My friends (so they called themselves for 35 years, 4 of them) live next door if they see me they run indoors or ignore me I have not talked to them since the funeral in April we went on holidays together had dinner parties went to restaurants and days out together, mostly at my house , I won't give them the time of day again they are a waste of time, I have 8 really good friends who are always there for me so sod the others, one day these people will be in the same position we are then we will treat them the same way they have us. X

Permalink Reply by pamela winmill on July 8, 2016 at 5:16pm

Thank you I am lucky that I have a few good friends that have stood by me, not the ones I was expecting too! My son and daughter have been great. My other 2 sons are controlled by their wives and as the money as dried up they don't want to know.

Permalink Reply by 0vmytxwpqk0r5 on July 6, 2016 at 1:44pm

So sorry you had to hear those words.  With your husband having passed so recently - it was totally inappropriate.  It is heartbreaking to hear this type of response time and time again.  I know how one rude phone call can leave your reeling for days.  I called a friend of my husband's, he passed after 37 yrs. together.  It was just 5 days after he died. I did not know this women, but she exchanged jokes through emails with him and his mailbox was full.  She sternly announced "what did you expect? Men die sooner then women so it should be no surprise to you - that's just the cold, hard truth".  Wow, right between the eyes.    I do not hold out any hope these people will EVER realize what idiots they are.  And to think I sent Christmas cards to her for years at my husband's request - I am glad he will not know how he wasted his time.

Permalink Reply by joanne on July 6, 2016 at 2:49pm

Pamela,  one of my so called bestfriends  lives 6 doors away, and how often does she pop in to see me..... erm never, thats friends for you, as long as it hasn't happened to them and they still have their husbands then they don't bloody give a dam, I found when at the beginning all your so called friends tell you how they will be there for you, they tell you your not alone, what a crock of s***,  to be honest I don't need them anyway, the only person I need is the only person I can never have. Love too you x

Permalink Reply by val on July 8, 2016 at 10:12am

ignore him , he hasnt a clue xxxxxxxx u do what u have to in your own time x

Permalink Reply by pamela winmill on July 8, 2016 at 5:17pm

Thank you, one day at a time !

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on July 10, 2016 at 11:12am

Pamela,  I have had similar calls.  Another thing I found was "friends" saying "Call me anytime."  When I have called THEY were always busy & never called back.  I will never call those people again.  Why can't these "great friends" pick up the phone and call me?  Because they don't want too.  I had a good friend of ours, particularly of my husband's.....they grew up together and have remained friends through the years, , ask me if my husband had "Received Christ" because if he had not, he would burn in Hell.  How sweet is that, that same person asked me if my home and vehicles were paid for and how much money do I have, did John take care of me?  I was insulted, and NO, he was not asking about my welfare or offering money, he was just being nosey.  Yup, a true Christian.  There are always people like that.  Ignore them if you can.  I did tell my husband's "friend" that John would be ashamed of him for the things he said. Made me feel good.  The world is full of idiots, a-holes and so called Christians who are not.  Hang in there girl.

Permalink Reply by Libbie H on July 10, 2016 at 8:49pm

Dearest Pamela,  I am so sorry for your heart!  I am flabbergasted that anyone would say those things to you. There are people that will say things thinking they are helping when in fact they have no clue and should be silent!!!  I would be outraged if this happened to me as 19months have past since my husband died and I am anquished everyday....a few months back my sisternlaw (my husband's sister) told me I was a young woman that should meet someone to spend time with..I lost it with her... so I empathize with you...Surround yourself with people that will support you and also when someone sais things like this tell them they are out if line!  Sure helped me... take care,  Libbie

Permalink Reply by Libbie H on July 10, 2016 at 8:52pm

Dearest Pamela,  I am so sorry for your heart!  I am flabbergasted that anyone would say those things to you. There are people that will say things thinking they are helping when in fact they have no clue and should be silent!!!  I would be outraged if this happened to me as 19months have past since my husband died and I am anquished everyday....a few months back my sisternlaw (my husband's sister) told me I was a young woman that should meet someone to spend time with..I lost it with her... so I empathize with you...Surround yourself with people that will support you and also when someone sais things like this tell them they are out if line!  Sure helped me... take care,  Libbie

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