Had a call today from someone I know, not a close friend but he knew my husband for some time. His attitude towards me left me in tears apparently according to him that at sometime  we all have  to go through this and I have to learn to cope on my own and get on with my life. I am supposed to start doing things again right now because this is what my husband would have wanted, my husband knew that as soon as I can I will do everything I can to be with him, he was an insensitive  a hole , my husband died in April, he said his friends wife is getting on with her life making new friends, good for her, her husband passed 3 years ago, I will never talk to him again, I hope he is left on his own then maybe he will realise  what an idiot he is.

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I lost my Husband to colon cancer over 3 years ago and I still grieve for him. When people tell me I should move on, I tell to mind their own business and I will grieve and speak of my beloved Husband if I want too. People including my own family are a bunch of assholes who know nothing of losing a wonderful spouse. Most of them are in unhappy relationships or marriage.

My 2 daughter in laws caused a lot of trouble at his funeral I now don't talk to my 2 sons I have a lovely daughter and another great son, just found out the one who ruined the funeral is planning to do a charity swim in my husbands name she really is a piece  of work, I have been a wreck  all day, thank you all for your support its comforting to know I can talk to people who know exactly  how I am feeling. My love to you all xxx

We are all with you.

My friends (so they called themselves for 35 years, 4 of them) live next door if they see me they run indoors or ignore me I have not talked to them since the funeral in April we went on holidays together had dinner parties went to restaurants and days out together, mostly at my house , I won't give them the time of day again they are a waste of time, I have 8 really good friends who are always there for me so sod the others, one day these people will be in the same position we are then we will treat them the same way they have us. X

Thank you I am lucky that I have a few good friends that have stood by me, not the ones I was expecting too! My son and daughter have been great. My other 2 sons are controlled by their wives and as the money as dried up they don't want to know.

So sorry you had to hear those words.  With your husband having passed so recently - it was totally inappropriate.  It is heartbreaking to hear this type of response time and time again.  I know how one rude phone call can leave your reeling for days.  I called a friend of my husband's, he passed after 37 yrs. together.  It was just 5 days after he died. I did not know this women, but she exchanged jokes through emails with him and his mailbox was full.  She sternly announced "what did you expect? Men die sooner then women so it should be no surprise to you - that's just the cold, hard truth".  Wow, right between the eyes.    I do not hold out any hope these people will EVER realize what idiots they are.  And to think I sent Christmas cards to her for years at my husband's request - I am glad he will not know how he wasted his time.

Pamela,  one of my so called bestfriends  lives 6 doors away, and how often does she pop in to see me..... erm never, thats friends for you, as long as it hasn't happened to them and they still have their husbands then they don't bloody give a dam, I found when at the beginning all your so called friends tell you how they will be there for you, they tell you your not alone, what a crock of s***,  to be honest I don't need them anyway, the only person I need is the only person I can never have. Love too you x

ignore him , he hasnt a clue xxxxxxxx u do what u have to in your own time x

Thank you, one day at a time !

Pamela,  I have had similar calls.  Another thing I found was "friends" saying "Call me anytime."  When I have called THEY were always busy & never called back.  I will never call those people again.  Why can't these "great friends" pick up the phone and call me?  Because they don't want too.  I had a good friend of ours, particularly of my husband's.....they grew up together and have remained friends through the years, , ask me if my husband had "Received Christ" because if he had not, he would burn in Hell.  How sweet is that, that same person asked me if my home and vehicles were paid for and how much money do I have, did John take care of me?  I was insulted, and NO, he was not asking about my welfare or offering money, he was just being nosey.  Yup, a true Christian.  There are always people like that.  Ignore them if you can.  I did tell my husband's "friend" that John would be ashamed of him for the things he said. Made me feel good.  The world is full of idiots, a-holes and so called Christians who are not.  Hang in there girl.

Dearest Pamela,  I am so sorry for your heart!  I am flabbergasted that anyone would say those things to you. There are people that will say things thinking they are helping when in fact they have no clue and should be silent!!!  I would be outraged if this happened to me as 19months have past since my husband died and I am anquished everyday....a few months back my sisternlaw (my husband's sister) told me I was a young woman that should meet someone to spend time with..I lost it with her... so I empathize with you...Surround yourself with people that will support you and also when someone sais things like this tell them they are out if line!  Sure helped me... take care,  Libbie

Dearest Pamela,  I am so sorry for your heart!  I am flabbergasted that anyone would say those things to you. There are people that will say things thinking they are helping when in fact they have no clue and should be silent!!!  I would be outraged if this happened to me as 19months have past since my husband died and I am anquished everyday....a few months back my sisternlaw (my husband's sister) told me I was a young woman that should meet someone to spend time with..I lost it with her... so I empathize with you...Surround yourself with people that will support you and also when someone sais things like this tell them they are out if line!  Sure helped me... take care,  Libbie

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