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Comment by Patty on July 3, 2016 at 11:45am

Cindy, I'm so sorry for your loss. No, this is not a group anyone would ever want to be in.  We lost our only child, Caitlin, almost 6 years ago but it truly feels like yesterday to me.  Like you, I look forward to the day we are reunited in heaven.  I miss Caitlin so much it physically hurts.  I hope heaven isn't too far off.  

Comment by Cindy on July 3, 2016 at 11:34am

Hello everyone! This is my first time to have connected with this group. I am very happy to have found you! It is a group NONE of us ever wanted to join, but here we are together by the crude and harsh realities of life and death.

I am grieving hard this morning for my precious daughter, 34 years of age, that left us on June 9, 2016. Shortly after her death Father's Day hit and now it's the 4th of July. I miss her beyond any words I could express! She was our only child. I lit a candle in her memory. I have cried hard tears, and now I must get off the couch to put some street clothes on. The day moves on even if my daughter is not here to imbrace it with us. She waits in heaven for us to join her some sweet day!

God bless each of you, and may He give comfort to us all in our suffering.

Comment by Dolly on July 2, 2016 at 5:15pm

really bad day for me today and no clue why... just the usual I guess

Comment by Patty on July 2, 2016 at 12:52pm

Thank you, Connie.  I feel sadder during all holidays as well.  It doesn't matter which it is.  I associate all holidays with family time.  We are planning our first trip since Caitlin's accident.  We are hoping that being anywhere else will feel better than being here.  I am blessed that my husband and I have not drifted apart and still want to be together.  I live in terror of something happening to him.  I always wonder about what could have been.  Caitlin was just going to start her 3rd year in college.  She wanted to then go to graduate school.  She wanted marriage and children so much.  She worked at daycares for years.  She would have been a wonderful mom.  I not only desperately miss her but all that could have been.  

Comment by Dolly on July 2, 2016 at 10:17am

sorry I can't get the image to come through rright side up for some reason..

Comment by Dolly on July 2, 2016 at 10:16am

for any of you that have Facebook accounts I am now posting on my husband's page... Charles Matthews... the profile picture at the moment is the dancing tree picture I attached here so you get the right Charles Matthews... I would love to share thoughts with some of you there if you have FB pages of your own...

Comment by Dolly on July 2, 2016 at 10:10am

EVA I find myself lost in remembering .... thinking about how I feel like I'm someplace other than here on earth at those times... somehow a place where I can ALMOST see my son... almost ... that makes me think of what JEANETTE said too.. about one's mind breaking along with your heart... I think all of me is broken now.... but just this week God spared us from destruction one more time... and the tornado that was headed for our town... we have a house smack dab in the middle of it... touched down NORTH of here and did horrible damage there... it could have taken MY house and my other son.... but it didn't... so although my heart is always going to ache for my son who now lives with God, I am feeling blessed to have been spared another loss of such unbelievable magnitude.... at least for now.... my heart as always goes out to all the mothers in here who know exactly what I am talking about.... love you all....

Comment by Connie K on July 1, 2016 at 1:38pm

Hi all, haven't been online much. We actually took a beautiful trip to Puerta Vallarta for our 30th wedding anniversary with some dear friends from DC. It was good to be somewhere new.

Eva that is a beautiful poem. Tank you for sharing. I will be thinking of you and your daughter tomorrow. My son has been gone 3 and a half years. His 21st birthday was last March 31. I think of all the things we could have done when he became a legal adult. I yearn to have him be able to go off to the college he wanted to, as I see one of his best friends go there. He was going to do 2 years of community college then go to UC Santa Cruz. Why can't he have his life? Why can't I trade places and let him get to live? It never stops hurting.To say we miss them is such an understatement.

Lynn - I've been thinking of you a lot and hope you have a good trip this week. I will light a candle for Kyra next week.

Jeannette - my heart breaks for your losses. I am so sorry.

Patty - I now know that I will still be crying every day after 6 years. Forever I think. My heart goes out to you.

Hugs Teresa and to everyone. Good luck with the holiday weekend.All holidays make me sadder.

Comment by Lynn Williams on July 1, 2016 at 11:51am

What a beautiful poem Eva. I am also dreading my daughter Kyra's birthday, July 8th and it will also be my 3rd year without her. Summer used to be a happy time full of family visits when she came home from Montana. Now July her birthday month and August the month she died send me reeling. It's been so long not to hear her voice. Love to everyone here. I know now my heart will always be broken in this life time and noting can ever be as it once was. Lynn

Comment by Teresa D. on July 1, 2016 at 7:13am

Eva, your poem touched my heart. 

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