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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Comment by Margie S. on June 12, 2016 at 8:37pm

Mom passed away on October 8, 2015.  During the second week of June I always traveled to her place to see her and spend quality time with her.  I always took her to the beauty salon, her favorite restaurant, doctor and to my brother's house.  Yesterday I was really depressed and crying thinking that I can't go to see her.  She is in Heaven.   Love you and miss you mom.

Comment by Gregory on June 7, 2016 at 4:24pm

Thank you for your kind words Nancy.  My two brothers and sister were close to my Mom and we were a very close family.  We have been trying to spend more time with each other but sometimes I just don't like to be around anybody. 

Comment by Theresa on May 31, 2016 at 5:16am

Lisa it will be 6 months for me in June, I do the same as you, I know she is very close and listening.

Sometimes when I sit and think about not having her for the rest of my life I cry.  Then I say to myself, she is at peace, nothing hurts anymore.  I understand what she used to say to me, that we don't belong here this is not home, home is with God take us anytime.  Just to have one more minute to say I love you mom is all I wanted......

Comment by Lisa Green on May 24, 2016 at 3:05pm

Three months, seems like three years ago that I lost my mom. Its so hard to know how to live in the world where she is not. Mom was such a huge part of my every day life. She was my rock, my best friend and my biggest supporter. I miss her so much. Sometimes I don't know how to just be. be without her. Even in her death, I want to share that with her too. I always went to her for guidance in life and support. Mom will always be in my heart. I carry her still, everywhere I go. I think I will always talk to her as though she's right beside me. Some may think that's strange but I know those on this site completely understand. Thank you all for listening and sharing your stories too. Heartache has no end when you've lost your mom but I am glad to have all of you to comfort me. 

Comment by Leila on May 23, 2016 at 7:17pm
I'm so sorry for your loss, Gregory. Two months is no time at all when it comes to grieving a person you loved with your whole heart. Try to be gentle on yourself. There is no timeline on the stages of grief. It's been a year for me and I still feel the pain of my sweet mom's absence every single day. It is tempered a little, some days being better than others, but always the feeling that the world is not the same place without my mom in it. Your relationship with your mother sounds like it was a beautiful gift for both of you. As a mother I can appreciate how she must have treasured that. How can we ever stop grieving the loss of our dear ones when they made up so much of our lives? My sister's grieving process has been less complicated than mine, but our relationships with our mom were very different, so I no longer compare my process with hers. Do you have a support system of loved ones to help you through this sorrowful time? I found I had to take each moment, hour, and day one at a time. For me, I am sadder when I'm alone so I try to spend time as much time as possible with friends and loved ones. Sending prayers!
Nancy
Comment by Gregory on May 23, 2016 at 10:41am

I lost my Mom two months ago and I don't think time healed anything.  I've gone from a numb feeling to profound grief.  My Mom was 91 and I am 52 so I guess I should have moved on and started my life long before my Mom passed.  But my Mom was my friend.  I was the youngest and I think we shared that special bond.  We talked about everything, not just the normal mom-son talk.  She told me her worries and fears and confided in me with thoughts she never talked to my siblings about.  My Mom's mind was sharp as if she was 18 but her body was failing her.  She had difficulty walking and eventually required constant care.  My siblings and I worked with our schedules and ensured my Mom had someone with her at all times while at the home she loved.  She was prone to UTI's and had been hospitalized a few times in the past for them.  She wasn't feeling quite right two months ago so we took her to the hospital.  As expected, she had a UTI and was under treatment.  I figured this would just be another week in the hospital and then she would be released but I was wrong.  Somehow she had aspirated food into her lungs and developed pneumonia.  They had to take her to the ICU ward where they had to put her on a ventilator.  The critical care doctor gathered all of us outside her room and went down a list of probable things that could happen to my Mom and the scary future we would be facing from this point on.  I got the impression that they gave up.  The doctor kept saying that she was 91 and seemed almost angry that we didn't see the facts in front of us.  Yeah, my Mom was 91 but she's not a text book.  She's a person that gave me life and here was this doctor telling us to give up.  My siblings decided and I guess I eventually decided not to put her through all of the horrors previously discussed.  The doctor estimated she would last about an hour off of the ventilator.  They removed the device and we gathered around the bed.  The hour of life the doctor estimated estimated came and went.  All of my Mom's vitals were normal.  We all started to talk among ourselves when my Mom woke up!  She wasn't able to talk but she was focused and seemed to recognized all of us.  She moved her mouth a few times as if she was talking but we couldn't hear a sound.  She drifted off to sleep about an hour later and we decided to leave her for the night.  The next morning my sister called me and said my Mom wasn't doing very well.  I rushed over to the hospital but my Mom was gone.  I wasn't there to say good bye.  I stayed with my Mom and talked to her, hoping she was hearing my words.  The next few days were a blur to me.  Family members arriving, schedules to be made, and just over all a frantic mess.  And then it was all over.  My Mom was gone and everybody went on with their lives.  I'm trying but I lost half of my life two months ago.  I don't find joy in anything.  I'm a robot that goes to work and then back to home every day.  My Mom taught me everything I ever needed to succeed in life but she didn't teach me how to live without her.  Now I am lost.

Comment by David on May 22, 2016 at 12:14pm
Thanks Monica and Theresa, some days I could sleep all day not wishing to get up, how do I live with all regrets of things I never did and wanted and planned to, doctor gave me anti depressants and I am going to see a berwavment councillor and someone suggested a hypnotherypst to help me. Thank you david
Comment by Theresa on May 21, 2016 at 5:16am

Monica you said it exactly go to bed thinking about her and wake up thinking about her.

I am just trying to do what she has said to me many times, you have to live your life......

Comment by Monica on May 20, 2016 at 7:59pm
Welcome David. I extend my sincere condolences. Your emotions and deep dark grief are completely understood here. This is the hardest thing any of us have had to grasp. Nobody will ever understand our paralyzing sorrow unless they have been where we are. Ive told my story many times, but sometimes i just listen, sometimes i reply, sometimes i cant, and sometimes i have to get it out! Just know that this is a good source for comfort and understanding for all these new and painful emotions. Keep reliving her words. You had a very powerful relationship. Even in death, a Mother will never leave her children. Bless you
Comment by Monica on May 20, 2016 at 7:37pm
Oh Theresa!! I know how hard it still is. Especially those days that mark another wk, another month,,,and for some, even yrs. I wake up thinking of my Mom...and go to sleep thinking of her, even sometimes torturing myself with the painful longing for her, and the days with her where i actually KNEW MYSELF. Keep lighting that candle. I pray for you often. Bless all of you
 

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