Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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I feel for all of you on here. I lost my mom six years ago, and the pain is still with me. Since then I have pretty much lost all the family I had left, both my mother and father in law, my Dad. Now my best friend is dying of cancer, and even my dog needs to be put to sleep, if I can get the strength to go do that. I feel like overnight I went from having a fsmily and friends to virtually no one.
Jane
My gosh not a good situation, but you've managed to get through 19 months. We just have to keep living our lives.
I am sure that when my time comes to go home, my mom will be waiting for me.
I also miss my mom so much, its going on 5 months......
December will not be a good month for me, on the 14th my dad passed, on the 19th mom and the 24th my grandmom.
I lost my family as well as my Mom. Soon after my Mom passed my oldest brother turned his ugly horns on me. I've given up trying to find the underlying cause. Soon after my sister decided to not help in going through my Mom's things... cleaning out her house etc. I merely texted her and said 'it's not fair that I'm doing this alone'. She didn't like that and has since quit talking to me. I have one brother who is decent. I cry that my Mom would be so sad as to what has become of her 4 kids, but I've done my best.. and I can't fix it. Some days I just cry so hard for all that I have lost :( I miss my Mom so much. It's going on 19 months :(
Oh Theresa, I'm so sorry. I know that pain. I left the hospital at 10:30pm talked to my Mom at 11:15pm when I got home.. said I loved her, hung up, and at 11:45pm my brother called and said the hospital called and my Mom had had a stroke. How in that little time did all of this happen :( She never recovered and we lost her a week later.
I'm so sorry about the pain of your Mom, I know it too well. It's okay to repeat your story, I guess it's how we heal. It's impossible to hold all this pain in.
Hugs
Mother's Day coming next week, what makes it even harder is that I used to go every Sunday to my moms.
Some days I feel so sad and I try to remember the good times, but sometimes I just can't hold back the tears.
It feels so strange not talking to her every day, or the last time I heard her voice. I have saved her voicemails, but I am afraid to listen to them.
The last words she said to me were you know which hospital right, I said yes mom Bryn Mawr, she said ok let me hangup I'm getting a pain in my shoulder, that was at 7:40am and by 8:40am, with me standing there in the hospital looking at her as they were doing chest compressions the dr asked me a bunch of questions like does she have diabetes, no, did you know she has a clogged artery in her leg I said yes, then he said does she have an aneurysm and I said yes an aortic he said do you want to continue doing this and I said is she breathing he said no, then he stated time of death 8:40.
She was not sick, her heart just stopped, her doctor said it was hypertension as the secondary cause, primary cardiac arrest.
I miss her, I hope this gets better for me.
I apologize if I already said this story before, I just feel better saying it to people that will listen, my husband is not much on this kind of stuff.
Joanna,
I find that when I am most busy doing my normal work thing, carting my son off to soccer and taking care of things for my dad that I too don't get emotional and cry as much. But, at the end of the day when I finally get to slow down is when it hits me that Mom is not here anymore and I can't talk to her about my busy day and tell her everything that happened. I don't think there is any rule book that says how much or how little we cry and grieve that is normal. We all have to find our way through this horrible time in our lives in our own way. Whatever helps you the most, is what you do and its ok. I am glad you got your moms contact and web page back on your phone. I would have been infuriated at that. I held in or was just numb to moms passing during the first few weeks because of all the things I had to get done to make arrangements for her funeral and to take care of legal things after the fact. I cried a lot but I actually feel the loss much deeper now and it's been a little over two months. It sets in that this is a permanent thing and not just a thing that just happened. It hurts bad and there's no cure. There's no way to fix it. That is the hardest part for me. I have always found a way to make things better in my life in any situation. But this one I am powerless over.
Jill,
Thank you for your suggestions and sharing how you got through it. I think I just might adopt a few of those ideas. I like the balloon idea especially for the kids. thanks so much. Everyone on here says it doesn't really get any easier but somehow we just learn to live without them. It just really takes a toll on ya.
Lisa,
The first of everything is so hard, especially Mother's Day. I dread hearing all those ads too. My mom passed Oct. 14. of 2014. My first Mother's Day without her we planted a lemon tree in her honor (she loved her lemon trees) and we all wrote messages attached to helium balloons(big hit with the kids) and let them go. We also made one of her dishes she loved. I think it helped me to have a plan on how to honor her on that day.
I still have moments all the time where I feel the need to call her (forgetting for a moment she has passed) and tell her something. We have been doing it our whole lives.
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