Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 451
Latest Activity: Nov 3, 2022

Discussion Forum

Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 467 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 182 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

Do you ever feel like your pain from the sadness of losing your child, only intensifies as times goes by? 163 Replies

Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.

Lost Faith 58 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 49 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

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Comment by Jill E on May 2, 2016 at 12:10am
Dolly I don't mean to be asking something rude or to cause you more pain but I noticed a reflection in his sunglasses? Is that you?
Comment by Dolly on May 1, 2016 at 11:56pm

three years today... still seems like a nightmare I just can't wake up from...

Comment by Patty on May 1, 2016 at 7:05pm

Dolly, for me it's been almost 6 years but it seems like yesterday.  I, like you, say the same things over and over.  My husband and I both have many health problems since my daughter's accident.  He doesn't like to talk about it and I don't want to force it.  I wouldn't want to be forced to talk about it so I guess it's not fair for me to try to force him. I have this terrible feeling of aloneness too.  It's pretty constant and it doesn't matter whether I'm actually alone or not.  I believe we can't really "share" our pain with others.  No matter how we describe it the pain is as different as the relationship is different from any other.  Each is unique.  All we can do is try to understand the best we can.  

Comment by Jill E on April 30, 2016 at 11:56pm
Dolly-all I can say is we all understand. We all care...we are all here for you. Sending you my love and so much more.
Comment by Dolly on April 29, 2016 at 11:11pm

its almost May again.... and its no better ...3 years... I've run out of things to say... everything I feel is being said over and over by you all... I have nobody to talk to about how I feel but you all.. my husband will talk sometimes but he has had so many health issues since this all started that he can't deal with the death all the time .. he tries but there's days when he just stares and doesn't say a word... about anything... my family never paid any attention to Brandon when he was alive so nothing new there... my oldest son and his family were good to my guys but only had contact a couple of times a year so I can't really relate to them about it either even though they do know about personal tragedy first hand.. maybe none of us can really share our own pain with each other... anyway for whatever reason I always feel alone... and I haven't had any more remarkable 'signs' like I did at first.. BUT I still do smell lilies many days when there are no lilies anywhere around.. it always feels like a hug and /or a kiss from Brandon ... I'm trying to keep really busy til may is over...

Comment by Jill E on April 29, 2016 at 10:10am
I had the very first dream about Josh last night. It was horrible. Not a good dream. Thought I would remember it but I don't except I don't remember seeing Josh it was all about Sarah (daughter-in-law) and her Mom. Maybe because I talked some yesterday to my friend about Sarah (things she did without even talking to me about like turning off his life support)and her Mom. We don't have any relationship at all. She even said she was going to send me some of Josh's thing and still has not done it. I always wanted to dream about Josh -a good dream. WYWH My Joshie Everyday I miss you more and more. I love you.
Comment by Teresa D. on April 29, 2016 at 5:20am

Connie I appreciate the offer, I'm just not ready to do it again yet.  There was information she hit right on, but once she said that I was done.

This is such a hard journey.

Comment by Connie K on April 28, 2016 at 7:03pm

hi Teresa

I too was one of those people. My husband s sister lost a daughter at age 2. She had an epileptic seizure (they didn't know she had epilepsy) and vomited then was suffocated by the vomit. They found her in the crib . I was so young and remember now asking Paula, my sister in law if she wanted me to come!! I've never remembered her daughter's birthday or angelversary all these years. And now I realize why she never really got close to me. I'm ashamed but trying to rectify that now. They have 3 other children and that was 30 years ago so their lives seemed to go on smoothly. Recently I met with my niece and she is dealimg withthe way they DIDn'T deal with Dianne's death. Now at age 35 she is letting her grief out. It's all so complicated and sad. But now i can help her and allow her a place to express the feelings her parents never wanted to deal with.

I wish you could find a medium that gives you a truer reading. That just doesn't sound right.Maybe the medium was the one having a hard time!

I have someone I could refer to you who could do it over the phone and I know a few others here have really legit great mediums. It does give me comfort. It's the only way I can maintain is to think "He's just in another room..."

Comment by Teresa D. on April 28, 2016 at 6:41pm

I was one of those ignorant people making ignorant comments but never had a clue I was so ignorant until it was me and my child.

When my friend lost her son I thought I was such a good friend and I thought I was so supportive.

I called her quickly when it was me and all I could say to her was, "I'm so sorry for everything I thought I did and said, I thought I was helping."  She understood and told me get ready though because the same would happen to me and it did.

I remember days running to this room just so I could go off about comments made.  "Michael wouldn't want you to cry." "Your not over that yet?"  and you guys know the rest.

As hard as it is and as much as it upsets us you have to tell yourself they don't get it.  While they don't know how lucky they are not to get it, you just got to smile and walk away.

I went to a medium once but when she told me my Michael wasn't in heaven and having trouble crossing over that was it I couldn't absorb it.  I need to know God wouldn't allow my Michael to drift. I need to know he is in heaven with my father and his uncle. 

Wow Lynn, that is something.  I hope you and her click really well and become a life line to each other.

Connie I too just want to hear, "Love ya Mom."  I miss hearing his voice.  I wish I had a recording of it.  Michael never left me a message. If I missed his call he knew I would call back as soon as I seen his number.  DAMN!!!!

Trying to prepare myself for mother's day, going to do what I have been doing for the past 3 years and that's pulling out every card Michael gave me to display them. 

I'm struggling this month.  One day I feel like I'm making progress and the next I feel like I'm fooling myself.

All I want is peace in my heart and peace in my head.

LOVE YOU ALL!

Comment by Connie K on April 28, 2016 at 11:30am

Wow Lynn -I got chills reading about Genna's boyfriend. Oh my goodness they will be a great comfort to each other and I am hoping his mom and you will also. I do suffer from not having

a friend who had the same circumstances. Maybe I can start going to TCF meetings again. It was too hard for such a long time. So tired of the mask. OX Hugs to all.

 

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