Hello I am new here... I was told that I needed to seek out others that had a loved one who had been murdered to discuss my emotions and the process.

On January 12, 2016 I was notified by my brother Landlady that there was a smell coming from his apartment and OH BTW he had not paid his rent... which was not like him at all (she said) so I left my work and drove into Los Angeles from Riverside (about an hour drive) went into the apartment with the Landlady, Apartment Manager upon entry I KNEW something was off... lights were on, TV on, 1 flip-flop in the hallway, rotting food on the stove, disheveled spare room, kitchen was jacked up with a white substance on the floor but we didn't see Terry (my brother) I took pictures of his apartment of things that looked odd to me... because I didn't trust the police. I am african-american and I didn't want for something to be planted into his apartment later. 

I left there went and reported him missing to the local police station. I followed up the next day and was told it had been given to Missing Persons. When my daughter called on my behalf to follow-up they told her at they had just received the file and told her the process, something along the lines of they do not 'investigate' adults as they have the right to go missing. It was our responsibility as the family to look for him. My brother was 52 years old I am 47 he was a very private person I was hoping that he had to leave in a rush but wasn't sure. When I spoke to this Detective he said the same and also mentioned that there was no need for Missing Persons to enter the apartment since we had attest that Terry was not in the place. He also created the flyer for me to post around the neighborhood and online. I sat on that for 2 days before calling a friend of mine that is a Sheriff and she then called the Detective I went to speak with him in person (MLK Monday, January 18th) as I thought if he could see me in person and understand that Terry was someone who was loved and cared for not someone to just sit on a desk. He agreed to go out the next day to the apartment January 19th.  After going on the premises and searching the apartment he sent me a email that there was no evidence of foul play or forced entry.

Saturday, January 23rd I head out to his neighborhood to pass out flyers and ask people on the streets if they have seen him. On this same day the Landlady is entering the apartment as well to clean the dirty dishes in his apartment (remember the Detectives have said this isn't a crime scene) anyhoo apprx. one hour later a body is discovered in the apartment it is not released that it is my Brother. It took 3 days for positive ID. Since I was a part of the investigation I wasn't told WHAT happened to him or how he was discovered or method of death. I received this information later when he was released from the Coroner.

I am having a truly difficult time as I am dealing with this daily. He was my BIG BROTHER someone who I love and the Homicide Gang Unit that was put on the case did find the person who they believed killed my brother in fact he has formally charged on March 3rd and the arraignment is next Wednesday a week from today. 

I have questions to anyone that has gone through this before. Please help me

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I'm so sorry to hear of your traumatic loss. I never have gone through this exact same thing, but I have gone through many traumatic losses. I believe there may be a specific group on this site for those who have lost someone through homicide. Look at the "groups" section and I hope you'll find one. My condolences to you. It will be difficult for a long time, losing someone close (especially if you know they were afraid or suffered) is pain beyond words.

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