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Comment by Robin Jone on November 29, 2015 at 7:41pm

This is the fifth holiday season that I have had without Zach. It is still so hard to believe. The first of every thing without your child, especially a holiday, is so very hard. In a way it is even harder now because now I am no longer numb and I can't fool myself into believing that he is just away hanging out with his friends. Zach's birthday is coming up, December 16th, he would have been 28 this year (he died at 23). My heart breaks for all of us. It is so unfair.

The first year and some still some days now, I sleep with an old pair of Zach's short. It helps me to be able to hug something of his close to me. My husband and I didn't even attempt to go through his things for a long time. His truck stayed in our driveway for three years, it didn't even run but we just couldn't part with it. There is no right way or wrong way to this thing called grief, you just do the best you can one second at a time. Some seconds are better than others.

Connie thank you so much for sharing your song, its beautiful!

Hugs and prayers to all.

Comment by Jill E on November 29, 2015 at 5:03pm

Connie I am so sorry I made a terrible typo-I lost Josh on December 7th-he went into the hospital on the 1st and passed away on the 7th. I had it stuck in my head that he went in the hospital on the 2nd. Nothing works it like short circuits in my brain.
I have such a hard time looking at Josh's things. I do have skittle urn with some of his ashes that I have in a safe place that I take out and talk to and cry. I don't have much because my daughter-in-law has yet to send me some of his things. I don't know how to do this. The pain, the grief has just worn me out. I feel 20 years older, I am losing my hair and my mind, I lose things, forget names and places, I lose my words. I can't sleep with the lights out or the TV off. I have to keep
my mind/brain busy so I can't think because thinking brings up pain brings up tears/sobs. Bring on all the stupid games I can find on my phone, love to read-wish I could-can't concentrate. My eyelids are weak...just one little thought or word and they can't hold back. Living close to Sedona I have acquired some crystals but I wish I could just find a bit of peace in the beauty. I would give everything up to have my Josh back. Joshie I love you WYWH

Comment by Jesse's Mom on November 29, 2015 at 3:30pm

We have changed very little in the inside of my son's house which we still have. It is like going back 3 years in time stepping inside.

Comment by Jesse's Mom on November 29, 2015 at 3:30pm

Connie, I too had a rubber wristlet from my son. It was odd though since he would never had worn such an item. I found 2 of them in his college folder both new and never worn. They both say "Strength" and were in light blue and white -- colors of heaven. I still wear the one and understand that connection.

Comment by Jane P on November 29, 2015 at 2:08pm

Connie

Thank you for sharing your beautiful song....

Comment by Dolly on November 29, 2015 at 1:45pm

Bo wears alot of Brandon's clothes and so do I.. I wear his T shirts mostly and they feell like a hug......

Comment by Rj on November 29, 2015 at 1:20pm

I gave most of larrys clothes to my nephew. Everytime i see him, he is dressed in larrys clothes, from head to toe. They are exact same size. Make me smile, best thing i could have done

Comment by Dolly on November 29, 2015 at 1:10pm

I still have Brandon's bed made up, his toys under it in a box, clothing in his closet... its still his room... I leave the lights on in there... all the time.. little LED lights ... I miss him more every second... its like a hole that has no end.. and nothing will ever fill it up

Comment by Rj on November 29, 2015 at 12:25pm

Sorry....i meant to address Teresa

Comment by Rj on November 29, 2015 at 12:24pm

Jill....i have left larrys shoes, only 2 pair in a box downstairs, his bedroom furniture still in my garage, along with other items from his apartment but i will sit downstairs and smell the shoes and go out to smell the inside of the dresser drawers....i never want to lose his scent, i know in time the scent will fade but for now i will continue to do so.

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