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Comment by Robin Jone on November 24, 2015 at 7:19am

I lost my son, Zach, on September 3, 2011 in a tragic accident. He was hiking on a trail with friends and got to close to the edge of a waterfall and fell. He was only 23 years old, gone way too soon. I have not been on this site for quite some time, but it helped me so much in my early days of grief. I do want to say that for me, in time it has gotten easier. There are still days that the grief will hit me just as hard as the day it happened. Like someone has punched me in the heart and taken a large piece of me and left a hole that will never be filled. I will never be the same person I was before that most horrible day of my life. One thing that has helped me in these years of pain and grief, is that I have found that when I am having one of those days I stop and remember that I have felt this way before, and have made it through. To just take it one day, some times one second at a time. A friend of mine told me in those early days of grief, (she only child/son was murdered over 10 years ago) that she had to make a decision in her grief. She could either choose to let it take her, or she could choose to survive it. I am blessed to have a husband, three daughters and 2 granddaughters, I decided to survive this grief. Some days are still so difficult and painful, and I am not sure at the time that I want to, but I know I want to still be here for my family. Reaching out to others who are fresh in their grief, has helped me tremendously too. We are not alone and I want to thank all who have been there for me. I want to be here for others. Those who have not lost a child don't get it, we do. There is no time line, no right way, we do the best we can one second at a time. My hugs and prayers for us all.

Comment by Teresa D. on November 24, 2015 at 6:26am

Nadin, my heart goes out to you during this difficult time.  There's nothing I can say right now to help ease your pain.  All I can do is let you know we know the pain you are experiencing and we will do what we can to support you.  HUGS!

Comment by Nadin on November 23, 2015 at 7:02pm

I lost my daughter 4 days ago. She took her life with 18. I was screaming and crying all those days but now I'm so empty and disorganized and I don't know how to go through my day. I wish when I wake up that it's already night to go to sleep again because that's the only time when nothing hurts anymore. It hurts just so badly.........

Comment by kim on November 22, 2015 at 3:16pm

i know in the states you are all having your thanks giving, we had ours in October, to me the holidays are just another painfull day.  we do nothing those days anymore. more and more I just stay in my bedroom and cry. when my son shawn went away I died that  day to, I will pray for all of you and hope you all get through that day.  hugs to you all   

Comment by Jill E on November 22, 2015 at 8:22am

I totally agree. I don't know what I would do without you all.

Comment by Lynn Williams on November 22, 2015 at 8:13am

child's death is so deeply felt. I will say a prayer for your son. Love to everyone here. Your words of support saved me so often from going over the edge. What an incredible group of woman you all are.  

Comment by Lynn Williams on November 22, 2015 at 8:09am

It is still so hard to go through the holiday season. It will be the third Thanksgiving without Kyra. I find myself still not fully believing she is dead. Our friends who have opened there hearts to us have again invited us to dinner on Thanksgiving. I hope we can all find some solace and peace to get through this time of year. Love and prayers to Connie and Michelle as another year passes without your sons. Jill the pain of the 1st anniversary of our   

Comment by Jill E on November 15, 2015 at 10:54pm

Thank you Teresa. And everyone whose words are words of comfort to me. December 7th one year. How have I made it this long? Seems like yesterday- the pain so intense. My husband's best friend died suddenly Friday at 48 years old. He was everything to his Mother.
I hate the holidays. I keep thinking of this time last year I had no idea I would be in this place in this pain in this hell. I try to remember last Thanksgiving and it isn't clear. The memories are all jumbled together from other years I think nothing is clear. I am in a fog. My can't remember anything what happened years ago, months ago, days, even hours ago. I get angry at myself. I get angry at myself for everything.

Comment by Connie K on November 14, 2015 at 3:41pm

Hi Michele. So nice to hear from you. I will be thinking of you on Thanksgiving and giving thanks for you and all of you here. Of course I know you understand. And thank God for all of you here because most of my friends and family just don't get it. An after "this much time" figure I have learned to accept and deal with it. How does one ever do that? I can't help it - it makes me so angry that I have to live the rest of my life without my sweet son and not share his future together. Sending everyone love and prayers to help us get through the holidays. (((  )))

Comment by Michelle W on November 13, 2015 at 10:26pm

Connie, on thanksgiving it will be 4 years I really have all that same anger and feel most people eyes are so closed and live in their own bubble.. Just know when I read your story the year after mine I knew all you would go through and I felt the connection of your and my story which just broke my heart.. I still feel the pain daily and my heart is perminatly broke never to be the same... Just know some of us do understand.., my thoughts and prayers to you through this stupid holiday season that I dread every year now...

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