Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 451
Latest Activity: Nov 3, 2022

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Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 467 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 182 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

Do you ever feel like your pain from the sadness of losing your child, only intensifies as times goes by? 163 Replies

Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.

Lost Faith 58 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 49 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

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Comment by Jill E on September 18, 2015 at 12:10pm
Dolly it would make me proud for you to share what my son said. Thank you so much
Comment by Connie K on September 18, 2015 at 10:56am

I'm sorry you are so down Dolly. I understand the anger about how folks weren't really there for my son when he was suffering with his Crohn's disease, in and out of the hospital all the time and 2 bouts of pancreatitis, which is so horrible and keep him in the hospital for 3 weeks each time with nothing by mouth - a tube feeding him. Not once did any of my family members come out to help me. I know they are far away on the east coast and it's expensive but we could have helped. Just nothing. And no visits since he passed. My sister doesn't like to see me sad. I have to bury my reality whenever I see them. Of course I make the effort to go to see them. I can't deal with all of Daniel's things in his room by myself. It is too hard. A little at a time. But I have asked her for help and she says she'll come but make no offer. I guess I ave to specifically ask and you all know how hard it is to make plans. So, it's easy for folks to think that when someone is sick all the time, or disabled like your Bo, that we've got our life handled, it's normal for us, like we don't need help. It's sad and I am sorry for your pain.

Comment by Dolly on September 18, 2015 at 9:37am

JILL E could I possibly share what your son said on my facebook page..?

lately I have been worse than any time since Brandon died.. furious all the time and filled up with this pent up feeling of having had it and no end in sight ... I can't believe the mess this country and this world is in.. and its worse all the time... and mostly I don't even CARE because maybe it will all just blow up and we will all go to be together again with those who have already gone... or just die... either way... I'm close to being suicidal... not close enough to carry it out.. but too close ... but I'll get over it.. yesterday was a day from hell for sure... another Thursday so I shouldn't be surprised.. I'm just so sick of feeling like life is over and all that's left are memories and pain... but that's how it feels so much of the time.. I know I have to hold on to my blessings.. I do have wonderful blessings.. my son Bo is still here and seems to be doing OK.. my  husband is still in remission... both those things I am exceedingly grateful for... but it still doesn't heal the gaping wound in my heart... and the rest of my family all either have their heads in the sand about what is going on in the world, or outright are hateful about any view but their own... this community just went totally bonkers over a little boy who was injured on the football field... which I am happy to see for his sake..... collecting money for his parents who are having to stay in motels near the rehab hospital in Philly PA... rallys of prayer... much like they did when another young man here was put into a coma from a wreck he and his friends were in.. the year Brandon died.. but never has anyone done anything like that for either of my guys even though they have been in and out of hospitals in grave condition over the years... for some reason my guys are invisible at best around here and it makes me mad... I'm not saying I'm not glad that they support these others.. just mad because they never seem to even think about what my guys have gone through and that Bo continues to go through living a life where he can't even roll over by himself and is trapped inside a body with a wonderful mind that can barely let itself be known... I'm just so MAD at everything lately.... I so need to find some way to let go and find some peace somehow.. but it only seems to get worse every day... this is the only place I have ever found where I can scream and yell my heart out and not get crushed ... what would I do without you all? but I wish none of you had to be here ever...

Comment by Teresa D. on September 18, 2015 at 7:03am

Ditto Karen. 

Comment by Karen R. on September 17, 2015 at 7:53am

Hey Sandy, sorry for your pain, sorry for all of us. That's why I couldn't post or comment in this group for so long because I started feeling like being active in this GROUP only added to my many cruel reminders that my son was gone but in fact, truth be told, this group/family actually saved my sanity, if not my life! This has been the only place where my thoughts and feelings have been validated  and I haven't been judged or criticized.  Everyone here, gets "IT".

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on September 16, 2015 at 2:16pm

Hi Karen, thank you for your post.  It's funny you mention the date, my year is next month and I CANNOT say the date, the worse day of my life. These days leading up to it are sickening, I just keep rehashing every minute, every "what if" and why didn't I do something more to help him. How can they possibly be gone. I want him so much, to see him, to see him smiling, walking, asking me to make him a quesadilla, anything.  Yes it is the Physical presense that is so missing. The sadness the last couple weeks is so bad and so hard I don't know how I can even make it through this but I guess I am.

Jill, I just cannot believe how cruel your daughter in law is towards you. You are better off without her and you tried to be the better person.

Hugs and some peace to all of us. x0

 

Comment by Karen R. on September 16, 2015 at 1:59pm

Greetings to all, I have visited the site often but have been at lost for words.  I see there are many new members, unfortunately, since I have commented in this forum.

I am still mourning and grieving over the loss of my son since Oct 2009. It is great progress for me to be even able to mention that month and date of his transition. In the past, I couldn't even say "THAT DATE", let alone count the weeks, months, years that he has been gone. I still say that each sunrise and sunset, still painfully reminds me that that my son is gone but I am "LIVING' with better, instead of "DYING" with it slowly. The concept of him being gone still bewilders me at times but now, when I feel my anger rising and when my sadness overwhelms me until I feel like I can't stop crying, I remind myself that that state upsets my son's spirit/energy, it disrupts his peace and makes him feel bad, that usually helps calm me and trust me, that's only been very recent. Some days when I'm drifting into my darkness and pain, I ask my son to forgive me for upsetting him and ask him to try to understand that I am a mom, HIS mom and that I will ALWAYS be his mom and that I still yearn for his physical presence, so forgive my weeping.  I decided to join in today with the encouragement of a loved one, I just wanted to share and offer my love to all in this INVOLUNTRY "club", my hearts hurts with yours.

Comment by Connie K on September 16, 2015 at 11:10am

Jill - wise words from your boy. <3

Comment by Jill E on September 15, 2015 at 11:35pm
This is a post I found on my beloved son Josh's Facebook page. He was a kind and loving soul. And so very wise. With all the pain my daughter-in-law is putting me through this was meant for me to read today.

"I hope everybody I'm friends with takes a moment to remember it's easier to put someone down then to lift then up. It's easier to hate than to care. It's easier to judge than to be judged. Remember these things before you open your mouth, you will be a happier person."

Joshie Thank you darlin' I really needed to read this today, funny how you let me know in little ways.

He was such an amazing man and son. He had so much to give and such a short time to give it. Josh I love you and I miss you everyday. WYWH
Comment by Vasanthi S on September 15, 2015 at 11:04am

Sending you all prayers for peace.Dolly you are so right about the forgiveness bit and it is probably one of the most difficult things to do .you are in my thoughts always too. Thank you Laura - Jesse's mom and all my friends here. Teresa we all have to go n somehow and we will. I am so grateful too that over the past 3 years I found solace here among my friends where I could share my innermost feelings and problems and got so much support. I will always need this support because when the going is really rough i know I am not alone. Love to you all here.

 

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