Most times I miss him so much that it's hard to breathe. I'm jealous of people who say that they feel their loved ones close, because I just don't. I wish that I had a stronger faith, this would be so much easier if I knew that someday we would be together again, but I just don't know. I guess the only advise I can give you is to do things in YOUR time. Don't let anyone push you or talk you into doing anything that you aren't ready to do. Take it slow, and walk away and cry when you need to.

Sometimes I feel like he was just taken yesterday and sometimes I feel like it's been years. I rattle around in our big old house, and miss him. I should sell it, it's way too big for one person, but it has been our home for almost 30 years. We got married in our livingroom, and my Jim died in our livingroom, how could I ever live anywhere else? I'm still sleeping on the couch because I just cant imagine sleeping in our bed without him. Life will just never be the same.

If you ever need to just rant, feel free to email me, I know that sometimes you just want to talk about him, and the day he was taken, and people just don't want to hear it again, I understand!