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Comment by Heath Dorian Papp on May 26, 2015 at 4:10pm

I don't know where to start, but I guess I'll just flow.  I lost my soulmate and mother to my son to cancer shortly after our son was born.  The doc missed the diagnosis and it mets to the liver.  My son doesn't even remember her.  I do.  We were together on and off since seventh grade.  I'm 43 and it's been 7 years, 2 months, and 8 days.  Although I don't ball on the floor everyday, all day long anymore, it certainly seems like I've been grieving awhile now.  Anyone else been at it a long time? Thanks in advance.  I'm sorry for all of your losses.  

Comment by kathleen akin on May 26, 2015 at 10:40am

Michael does it help to have the dog with you? I have 6 little parrots and I'm having trouble being able to spend time with them. When I'm with Rocky, I just want to be with him and not in the bird room. but I wonder if they will be any comfort when he goes. Right now I feel like I should rehome them. I don't want to short change them, but then I might feel differently later. Rocky loves the birds.

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 26, 2015 at 4:16am

Hi Debbie, I think I sent you a friend request.  ?.  I lost my wife to bowel cancer a little over 7 months ago, we were married 22 years.  I wrote an article to my local paper about cancer from the left behind spouses point of view, and a tribute to my wife.. I never thought this would happen, cancer only ever effects other people.  I feel like shit everyday, its a struggle to even do the practicalities. Frankly I'll be glad when my time comes, life holds nothing for me now, except our little Yorky aged 3 years this December 2015.

Comment by James Quinn on May 25, 2015 at 7:47pm

Thank you Shirley I spend most of my time with my love as did the family I was with her when she past away  I held her hand and whispered to her I will find you no matter how long or how far my love I will find you my love ,I hold on to that, If i could I would have taken her place in a heart beat .Peace be with you Shirley 

Comment by Shirley on May 25, 2015 at 7:34pm

James,   Just read your post and wanted to say I have similar  memories and I have to walk out of the house at times.  Just to try and regroup. Had my husband, at home, with Hospice of the Valley .We had to set the hospice bed up in the living room and he passed in the early hours of the morning . Was not in the room at the exact time he passed, Remember  his questions  and my memory shoots over to the side of the room.. Could I have done more, I don't know.  Could I have eased his pain any more than the medicines. I don't know.   It is a hard process we have to go through when our loved ones passes,  but honestly, just my way of thinking, I would rather have them go "home" than be in all the misery . All of us grieve in our own way, but we have  to keep going forward and rely on all the good memories we have.  Blessings to you and hope it eases some for you soon.  

Comment by James Quinn on May 25, 2015 at 6:49pm

 memory's have been resurfacing  lately of my wife who was dying the day I had to tell her the news was not good looking into her eyes holding her hand I said love its bad very bad its at that point  in time will stay with me for ever she looked back squeezed  my hand with both hands with such grace and love ,I am reliving it over again its all so unreal its wearing me down 

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 25, 2015 at 3:26am

Its been 7 months now since I lost my wife to cancer following a bowel operation, we were married 22 years, its hard to say anything different to what other people are writing, all I know is we got the Yorkie pup before the cancer came along because my wife had Yorkies all her life, our Yorkie before this one had to be put to sleep do to an enlarged heart stopping her eating and drinking, she would have starved to death and died of thirst if we had not had her put to sleep, my wife wept her heart out, our little Yorkie will always be my wife's, im merely her guardian until we are parted.  I love my wife and our little Yorkie to bits, im just going through th motions of life now, unable to relate to family and friends who have been through the same, and yet those who have been through this, all handle things different, but there's one thing for sure, when we lose our husband or wife, everything changes, and there's nothing a left behind spouse can do to change things back.

Comment by Shirley on May 25, 2015 at 12:13am

Sara, I share the same pain as I lost my hubby April 29 2014. Has been a rough 13 months, and still have a few set backs when the tears just flow. He had two daughters, two different ex's. One lives in the State as we and one lives back in Michigan. The one from Michigan came and went to the celebration of Life, but did not ask for or want anything at all. The one living in our State did not show up at all. Did not want anything and has not contacted me since he passed.  Seems like some children these days do not care to be put out the cost of gas to attend a parents funeral. It will be their loss in the future when they mature enough to think straight. They are 54 and 52 but do not claim to be sisters . That makes it so sad but there is nothing we can do to make it different. Grieve as long as you have to, but do not tear your self up because his kids are acting up. Will send a prayer for your peace  and contentment. Take it easy and each that goes by it will get a little bit easier.   

Comment by James Quinn on May 24, 2015 at 11:59pm

It has been nine months since i lot my soulmate Marita of 25yrs to bladder cancer,I miss her so much all the time the grief and pain are my constant companions My siblings have been wonderful doing what they can but the path I walk, I walk alone I try hard to take up old interests my wife and I used to do but I  cannot see the point  Its as if I am looking through a window at the world I am detached from the world its as if i am in a parallel  world .I cannot seem to climb out I look ahead of me I see nothing ,I have seen a doctor I am on Amitriptyline  she ask if i feel like suicide That would bring the same pain I feel on my family I will not do that But I still long to join my love all the time . I hope It will not belong I miss her so much 

Comment by kathleen akin on May 24, 2015 at 11:18pm

I feel so bad for you both. I have not gone through it yet but I think it will be soon. It would be so hard to have to deal with your loss and be alone in it or have family members treat you like that. Wish I had the right words to ease all the pain I read. Or do something. I'm just so sorry for your grief.

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