Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue
Started by Nicole. Last reply by Martha Washburn Sep 22, 2022.
For 40+ years we were together…married 39 years….We were to celebrate our 40th anniversary…Nobody who hasn’t been married, and lost a spouse could possibly understand….even though he was into many…Continue
Started by Susan B. Last reply by Connie Sep 1, 2022.
I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue
Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3, 2020.
I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue
Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.
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Richard- It has been two years four months and two days since my husband died. How long would you say it is going to take for it to get better?
m morgan - Hi, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in that abyss. I've been there many times it is the worst place in the world. When I find myself so deep in the grief pool that it is all I can do to breath I tell myself that I just need to hang on. Somedays I find I can't do anything but most days I make myself do some little task. As far as food I haven't cooked since my wife died. I pretty much live on cereal or meals the neighbors provide. I try very hard to get out of the house for at least a few minutes each day.
This is my second trip to the grief abyss. I lost my first wife to cancer seven years ago. I was fortunate to meet Cherie, a wonderful woman who had lost her husband. We became inseparable and were married in 2009. I lost Cherie to cancer on April 18th.
I can only remember a handful of days of the first five months after losing my first wife. I think I can't remember because it is just so painful. I can't tell you how I survived. I know I asked God many times to take me. I can tell you it does get better.
I know it seems like the abyss is completely empty but you are not alone.
Tildyc - My first wife comes to me in dreams every once in awhile. She didn't do that till about a year after she died. But I know when she comes she is really there and not just my imagination. Her visits give me great hope that Cherie will also visit. If Cherie doesn't visit for a while I hope Jane at least comes and lets me know that Cherie is ok.
A few days before Cherie died my daughter went in to the room to say goodnight and Cherie said she had just finished a long conversation with Jane. I would like have listened to that conversation.
After talking about the voice messages I think I will keep them. I don't ever want to forget her voice.
The other development in my life is the next door neighbors two daughter was diagnosed with leukemia yesterday. She really is like a granddaughter to me. I hadn't taken an Ativan in days but when I got that news yesterday, which was already a bad day, I had to take an Ativan just to be able to function. The doctors say the prognosis is good but that she will be getting treatments once a week for the next two to three years.
Today I fell into the abyss. It was deeper and darker than it has been in quite awhile. It seemed to have been building the last couple of days. It's like all of a sudden the grief is worsening. I ended up in bed all day. I have so many decisions still facing me after all this time since he died and I cannot seem to do anything more than get up and try to function doing the basics. And lately those have gotten hard again. I don't even want to eat. My last couple months I had started to eat again and now I just don't have the energy to cook anything. I'm either too tired or too unmotivated to get up and do. I can't keep living like this. I don't want to live like this. I'm just wearing out. I don't know how long a body can endure this kind of despair, I don't know how long someone can cry without totally giving up, I don't know how to be happy again. If I can't do this how will I bring an end to the suffering. So many questions and decisions to make and no answers for me. I need him back in my life and if I cant have that what will I do?
Tildyc, I have several saved voicemail messages from Cherie and when I really want to torture myself I listen to them. I really need to delete those messages but just can't bring myself to do it. Just remember that you are not alone in the dark empty realm. There are a whole lot of us in that realm. I hope Mark communicates with you. My first wife did communicate with me through dreams but that was not for over a year after she passed. I am hoping that Cherie will visit me soon but I don't expect her to for some time yet. I wish you peace.
Dianne, I know what you mean, it has only been a little over a month since I lost my spouse to cancer. I really hate the mornings. I dread waking up because the days are so long and so lonely. I have our three dogs and two cats that at least give me a reason to get out of bed. But I pray everyday for God to take me home. They talk about finding your new normal, well if my new normal is what I'm experiencing now I would just as soon die. I will not take my own life but it is very difficult to make sense of this world. I have lost two spouses to cancer and doubt I could ever love again because I don't think I could go through this again.
Yesterday I found out that my next door neighbors two year old daughter has leukemia. She is like a granddaughter to me. I didn't think my days could be any worse but I was wrong.
Having been through this when I lost my first wife I know that the pain will lessen over time. But the pain never completely goes away. Now I have the pain of losing two spouse and I don't know if I will every be happy again. I don't know what purpose I'm supposed to serve in this world but I figure to be alone and lonely until I can be reunited with my spouses in heaven.
All I look for a tiny moments of peace during the day and I hope that you are able to find some moments of peace.
3 months today. Seems like an eternity and only yesterday. My life will never be the same and I have no clue how to create a new life for myself. I am alone with the dogs and that is all I have. NOT supposed to be like this.
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