On January 26th of this year, my whole life was changed forever. My wife of 44 years was killed in an automobile accident. She was riding with a co-worker from their place of employment to where I work, and from there she and I would have gone home. Our home, our dream home, was only just purchased in December. We spent our first night there on Dec. 20th. This was to be our retirement home where we would live out the rest of our years together. She only got to enjoy it for just over a month. But now she is gone. I miss her so very much. I cry every day, sometimes the entire day. I feel so empty. I ask God every day to let me die so that I might be with her. Nothing matters to me any more.

   She and I were high school sweethearts. We went steady for about a year and we were engaged another year before getting married. She was the first girl I ever kissed.

    We did everything together. I never wanted to be away from her, and she felt the same about me. I am so lonely now. As I said, nothing matters to me any more. I have lost everything. I would give anything to have her back. I miss holding her, hearing her voice and seeing her smile. I sit and look at photos and I think how beautiful she was.

Views: 1169

Attachments:

Replies to This Discussion

Thought I would give an update. My grief finally consumed me and on March 31st I had a breakdown. I am now seeing my doctor every couple weeks, am on antidepressants and I am seeing a therapist once a week. I am adjusting to Sal being gone, but I still miss her terribly. Each day now is a bit easier. I have lost 41 pounds in 3 months. I am working on some of the things that my wife and I were going to do. I want to do them for her. Shortly after my breakdown I wrote a poem to her. It's not great but it says what I felt/feel.

To Sally

You went away

Some time ago

When all was white

Covered in snow

We laid you to rest

On a cold, snowy day

After first we went

To the church to pray

We had such plans

Just you and I

I was not ready

For you to die

To grow old together

That was our goal

But over death

We have no control

To have you back

I would give anything

To hold the hand

That wears my ring

To hear your voice

To see your smile

If only for

a little while

By the tears I shed

I hope you see

How much you truly

Meant to me

I miss you dearly

I hope you know

How I’ll go on

I do not know

Just know I loved you

I love you still

I love you Sal

I always will

Orville I am sorry for your great loss. Having a relationship that deep I can certainly relate. It is going to be very difficult to carry on but you can do it. Cherish those precious memories. in your really dark moments just say a prayer for strength. I don't know how religious you are but prayer helps, that and having supportive friends and family. Keep strong and you are in my prayers.

RSS

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i miss mom so mush i do"
Apr 11
Susan E Marshall commented on Susan E Marshall's photo
Thumbnail

My husband

"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
Apr 6
Susan E Marshall and William Gardener are now friends
Apr 6
Natasha updated their profile
Apr 5
Angie Rowland joined Rita-Cecile's group
Thumbnail

LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief

Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Apr 3
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service