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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by bryana on May 14, 2015 at 12:46pm

Amy, your comment is exactly what I needed to hear today and I thank you for it. I am having such a difficult time in the aftermath of losing my love. The aftermath where all the people you hoped would be there for you actually turn and run for the hills. I try to have compassion because they do not understand. Your words landed in a very critical place for me and I am so glad I read them. Thank you. 

Comment by Michelle B. on May 14, 2015 at 9:17am

It's been 7 months, and I'm regressing.  I feel like lashing out.  I feel like making a poster for "Rules of Grieving."  Rule Number 1:  do you REALLY have to ask days, weeks, months, even years after the event, "what's wrong?" when you find me in the middle of the wave. Rule Number 2:  the wave definitely has triggers, but it can still come whenever it wants to.  Rule Number 3:  threats (e.g. you'll lose your job if you can't pull it together, you'll miss out on life if you can't pull it together) don't make the wave better, they just pile on and make a bigger wave. Shame on those who do that. 

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on May 13, 2015 at 4:22pm

Yea what's wrong - what a friggin JOKE!!!! Somebody said that to me 2 weeks ago and I said - REALLY? WHATS WRONG?? - people don't know what to say and I don't know what to say to them, I hate that they are normal going on with their lives... I feel so bitter and so cheated. I'm sorry for everybody who is new here, here we can say how we feel whether it be good or bad.

Emily - this is NOT your fault, you cannot hold yourself responsible. He made the choice and I am so very sorry it was at your home, that is just wrong. We will never know what our loved ones were thinking and that is the most difficult thing of all I believe. My 18 year old son overdosed and my life is forever changed. I will never understand why, how he could do that drug, he was so beautiful and loving but he had demons that we couldn't help him with.  His bday is next week and I am in terrible shape, I don't know how to be here without him.  All we can do it make it one minute and one day at a time and some days are easier and some are not.  Hugs to everybody on here

Comment by Amy on May 13, 2015 at 3:42pm
Grieving a traumatic loss is always a catalyst for profound spiritual transformation in those grieving. Your relationships will change, including close family members and friends who mean well, but do not "get it". This is your journey. The uncomfortable feelings of others is not part of it. Acknowledge their discomfort at your distress, without judgement, and move on. Hold your own space. It is sacred.
Comment by Cornelius Patrick on May 12, 2015 at 6:08pm

I lost my younger brother, who was one month shy of 33 years old the day after Christmas this past year to a sudden massive heart attack.  Since then I have talked almost daily with his widow to be there to speak with her about whatever she wanted to talk about.  I wanted to be useful as a way to help ease mine own grief and it helped a little bit but not really enough.  This situation has also called out and added to some fracturing within my family.  I want to let my grief happen and process it but all these stresses make it difficult.  I am just looking for a little bit of help and advice in this darkling time.

Comment by sarah on May 8, 2015 at 12:54pm

sorry for your loss. 5weeks ago yesterday my little brother , 36yrs old came over to stay the night and overdosed during the night on pain prescription pills. I found him the next morning. my heart is still in shock and angry too

Comment by Emily W on April 28, 2015 at 6:42pm

I lost my best friend to an overdose yesterday. It happened suddenly and horribly, in my apartment. He was smiling and laughing 24 hours ago and now he's gone. My heart is shattered into a million pieces. I feel like if I had done something different he'd be alive. We were watching TV, cleaning my apartment, and he went to lay down. I heard him snoring, didn't know anything was wrong. I checked him again a little later and it seemed like he wasn't breathing. he had taken part of a bottle of my prescription medication. I called 911 was on phone with them they were directing me how to do cpr I did it till paramedics arrived. They tried and tried to rescusitate him but he remained in cardiac arrest. I can't stop blaming myself. I should have checked on him more. I should have sensed something was wrong. If I called 911 sooner mabe he wouldn't have died. I shoudnt have had my medication in my room I should have locked it away somewhere. I should have told him he couldn't come over yesterday. I keep going over and over everything in my head and thinking if I had done something, something different he would still be here. My heart is shattered. The coroner came and I was present for all that. It was awful. And I feel awful for his Mum I know his family's hearts are breaking too. Its so hard to make it through each hour, each minut without him. The pain is tremendous. I hope he knows how much I loved and cared about him.

Comment by Felicia Evans on April 27, 2015 at 12:15pm
Hi it's been a while since I logged on. I am healing but everytime I think I'm okay something happens to upset me. My nephew who was more like little brother died suddenly last year on 11/28/15. Black Friday will never be the same for me. As he loved going shopping that day for toys for his kids. He loved Christmas. His wife has slready staring another man. This breaks my heart. She already has their 4 kids around him. She has pictures on Facebook and everything! It's only been five months! I know I shouldn't judge but she put my nephew through hell while he was alive. Now she just moves on like wasn't even there. New house and she is letting this new man drive their family car too. So sad. I am praying for my attitude to change. It's just hurts. I miss my nephew.
Comment by dream moon JO B on April 20, 2015 at 4:18pm

im so sorry for new 1s as well as old 1s on hear coz of loss all i no had loss non stop i no im not on my own on hear no 1s on own on hear

Comment by Jeni on April 19, 2015 at 9:57am
Michelle ....so sad to hear about your loss. Truly I know there are no words because on 11 jan this year my partner of 2.5 years died in my arms after having a seizure followed by cardiac arrest .The pain I know is so immense, and the void very deep. There is no reason and no understanding of these tragic situations. Each day, comes with it's own challenges and this for me, I believe will be forever. But there is nothing wrong if we feel a happiness once again even if for a short while. There is nothing wrong with pushing those aside because they don't understand even thought they try to.No One can understand unless they have been there.I wish I could take your hand and walk a part of this hard hard journey with you . I wish I could hug you and tell you it's ok to cry and just do the things you can. I send you strength and I send you my Luv ....Jeni
 

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