Comment

Comment by Dianne M. on April 18, 2015 at 6:51pm

I agree with bluebird. This is hell but my life with him has made me a better person and I wouldn't  trade our 20 years for anything....but sure wish we had 20 more...

I spend the day with friends and went to church tonight.

I drank 2 bottles of wine last night trying to forget all this pain but it didn't work..here I am facing the same things I did yesterday so lesson learned.

Comment by bluebird on April 18, 2015 at 6:07pm

lost,

In my opinion, it's better to have found your soulmate and loved them deeply, even though it means life is hell now.  At least, that's how it is for me -- I would never wish that I had not had my love and life with my husband.

Of course, this also means that now I only want to die, but I'd rather this than never having met him. I just think that people need to understand when people like me are unable to have any kind of life after the death of my soulmate.

Comment by lost on April 18, 2015 at 5:29pm

So here is my question:
Is it better to have found a soulmate and loved someone so deeply and now we hurt so badly??
OR
Is it better to never find a soulmate and not experience the love that we had??

Comment by George H on April 18, 2015 at 4:55pm

That is truly the perfect word to the way I feel

Comment by Tildyc on April 18, 2015 at 4:50pm

RE•DUN•DANT
rəˈdəndənt/
adjective
-not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous.

This is how each day is for me now. Except I need to add- the ever present grief and loneliness.

Everyday I wonder what I'm suppose to do with all these empty minutes that I have left to get through.

I'm feel this emptiness has consumed me. Without my Mark... I'm unable to find any reason why I have to keep going through the motions of all these pointless and un-inspired hours of existence. But everyday, I go through the same monotonous and repetitive steps. It is truly soul sucking and completely draining. I effing HATE this.

Comment by Tildyc on April 18, 2015 at 1:42pm

Sandy- my thoughts are with you- wish I could do something- anything, to lighten your painful burden. I'm so sorry.

Comment by George H on April 18, 2015 at 1:29pm

I miss Mary so much I'm so f'''ING broken doing this everyday makes no sense

Comment by lost on April 18, 2015 at 7:38am

Sandy - scream! This is so no fair for you.....scream!

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 18, 2015 at 7:10am

I have to go with my siblings this morning to make funeral arrangements for daddy. Having trouble breathing. I can't cry. I feel like I'm in a bubble of grief. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Tildyc on April 18, 2015 at 1:43am

That's all I'm doing anymore... Just functioning... Barely.

The future for me looks sad, lonely and hopeless. No matter what I do- whatever motions I go through- the reality is, and always will be- that I have to exist in a life without my Mark.

I try to imagine myself 10, 20, 30 years from now. Still grieving and broken. Just waiting....................................

I feel like a broken record. Repeating the same words and fears over and over again. But it changes nothing. Completely redundant. Hopeless.

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