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Permalink Reply by kathleen akin on March 27, 2015 at 4:50pm

I DO believe in God which is not helping me at all. I am so mad also. What is this and why me? Again? And why can't it be me instead of my husband. I worry that he doesn't believe that there is anything after this life. I do believe that so it would be easier for me to die.  I wish it were me rather than anyone else. I don't like this world anyway. Except for my husband. I feel mad for all of us.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on March 27, 2015 at 5:10pm

me 2 kathleen i scream why me or why i cud still slap him/her why so mush loss say he hot plans for us i thng his/she plans suck i fo i mnt do 

if loss is he/her plan i h a t e it lk evry 1 else on hear

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Permalink Reply by kathleen akin on March 27, 2015 at 5:34pm

Jo...it's like what kind of stupid plan is this? I thought...I was promised by my religion and my God that I would have a loving and faithful husband. But just to take him from me when I only just found him? I don't get it.

Thing is he's still right here but I "get" to watch him go. I feel like God must be very mad at me.

All I have is him, my beautiful love.

I want it to be me instead.

All I know is I'm not hanging around this planet without him. I don't see the point.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on March 28, 2015 at 3:02am

it is im lk plan he/she got for me feals lk hell 

i feal as if god h a t e s me why i dont no

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on March 29, 2015 at 3:22pm

his plans is crullel it is 

his plans for us 2 hav a loss or so on is horbl it is

or let kids die is so not fair

 

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Permalink Reply by Trina Mamoon on March 30, 2015 at 3:54am

Dear Kathleen,

I am so sorry for you and the terrible experience you are going through now. I lost my beloved husband to lung cancer this past August. He was only 49 years old. I watched for nine months as he endured unbearable pain from his surgery and then chemotherapy. Watching him suffer the inhuman pain made me feel completely helpless. I would have given anything to take away his pain even just a little. There is no other harsher punishment than having to watch helplessly your loved one suffer and slowly die. It's so cruel!

Now that the love of my life is gone, there is very little value in my own life. I really don't have much to live for (we don't have any children; I have loving siblings) and I pray for my own death and would happily accept it if it were to come tomorrow. 

When faced with this cruelty, you really wonder what God's plan is, and why it involves so much physical, emotional, and psychological pain. We were created by God, so why does S/He make us suffer such pain? It's so unnecessary. I don't care about some future plan of His where a thousand years or so later all humankind will be happy. I want God to relieve us, human beings, of this kind of unbearable and unnecessary pain now. But that won't be.

My heart goes out to you, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

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Permalink Reply by kathleen akin on March 29, 2015 at 7:33pm

Yes. I'm missing his purpose. What kind of plan is this? Why does it need to be a mystery?

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on March 31, 2015 at 3:51pm

i often thng if god he/she got any fealng at alll

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Permalink Reply by kathleen akin on March 30, 2015 at 6:55pm

Thank you Trina for your kind words. So much pain and grief out there. Oceans of it. And for what? What is the point? Why couldn't your husbands Drs do something for his pain? I'm very afraid of that. I would so rather it be me than my husband.
I don't know how to live day to day waiting for what is to be. I beg and beg God. I don't know why. I just need a little more time. Just a little.
And then when it's over I don't have to stay.

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Permalink Reply by JRedmond on March 31, 2015 at 5:17pm

A lot of people feel the same way you do. It seems like it's always good people, those who are nice and kind hearted who suffer. But please be assured that it is not God's purpose for any of his creation to suffer and die. The Bible offers answers to the questions you are having about God. Job 34:10 says the true God cannot act wickedly and unjustly. Good loves us so why would be purposely allow us to suffer, that would not be loving. At 1 John 5:19, the Bible says, “The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.” That is why so much bad happens in the world. It is not God, it is the imperfection and sin that Satan has introduced. But the Bible also gives hope. God knows your pain and he promises at Revelation 21:4- " And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more,neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.” God promises to resurrect our dead loved ones and to restore humans to perfection. That means no more sickness no more death. So please do not give up hope because of the pain you are experiencing. Pray to God for strength in coping.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on April 1, 2015 at 3:40pm

iv no engy 2 pray 2 god iv tryd but wrds cnt seam 2 get thy seam stuck all iv manged 2 say why god wth a few nasty swear wrds on top 2i no im not only 1 on hear

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Permalink Reply by kathleen akin on April 2, 2015 at 3:18pm

So I have to wait until the natural end of my life to no longer feel pain? Thank you no. Women in my family live to 100 and beyond. No way. I can't. Too bad. This is not right and if God really loves me and doesn't want me to be in pain then he can do a miracle. How about that? Don't they happen everyday...or so I hear. What about one now?

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