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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Michele on April 16, 2015 at 4:25pm

I lost my sister and brother-in-law in a fire one month ago. It does not even seem possible that it has already been a month. They leave 4 children behind the youngest is 19. I am very close to the kids and it is heart wrenching seeing what they are going through as well.  They had a small cabin in the mountains that they would go to for long weekends and they were unable to get out due to burglar bars being on the windows. Me and my sister were extremely close we lived near each other and we would get together frequently on a weekly basis and talked 10 times a day on the phone. The void is almost unbearable and I am still unable to sleep. I just have visions of how their last minutes on earth must have been. I have struggled the last few days on whether or not I should go to NC to where the remains of the cabin are located.  I am normally a very postive upbeat person but the cloud of sadness and depression just seem so heavy. I know things will get better with time and I really am hoping for something, not sure what, hope, peace, advice that others on this site might be able to offer. 

Comment by Connie K on March 28, 2015 at 11:04am

Scarlotte what  a sad story. The abuse of power is nauseating.

Comment by marlene lovell on March 27, 2015 at 7:17am
Michelle B.......don't ever apologize for "droning" on......it is what we must do as a part of our grief. Even after four years of losing my husband, I so desperately want to talk about him.
Comment by Scarlette on March 27, 2015 at 6:44am

My brother was killed by the police almost 2 months ago. I am struggling so hard with so many different emotions. The police were wrong in what they did. They allowed my brother to freeze to death in the woods, and refused to let his friends look for him. I am so angry. Angry at how he died. Angry with the police for allowing it to happen. Angry with myself that I didn't know in time to go out and look for him myself. The police threatened to arrest his friends that were there and wanted to look for him. If I had known he was out there and that the police weren't looking for him, I know those police would have let me look for him, or would have had to arrest me. It was -20 degrees that night, and possibly colder because it was windy and he was up on a hill. The police said that they searched hard for him, but when you look at the timeline they only looked for about 10 minutes, and then stood by for over two hours preventing anyone from trying to help him. When my dad asked the next morning why they had called off the search they told him that it was way to cold for them to be out in the woods. Yet they made no attempt to contact us, they made no attempt to call in search and rescue, they just let him die. He had a run in with one of the cops in our town years ago, and since then they have had it out for him. I believe that when they found out who it was they had out there, they decided he wasn't coming out the woods alive. The police are sworn to protect and to serve....the police in my town did none of that. They murdered my brother that night.

Comment by Undisclosed on March 26, 2015 at 9:06am

My sister was just killed by the man we all thought would take care of her, her husband. He also took his own life and i miss her everyday. It hits me at the weirdest time.... I cant stop crying and i'm not a crier i hate crying... but i just want my sister back

Comment by Michelle B. on March 20, 2015 at 2:57pm

I haven't been able to even bring myself to send out thank you cards for funeral thoughts and flowers.  People that I've seen personally, I've thanked them and explained that it just gets "more real" with each type of closure, and I'm not ready for that.  I feel so bad for the kids...they grieve in their own way, too, and have accomplished so many milestones just in the past few months since their dad's death. Without him. He went to every band concert, every silly school function, every parent teacher conference, sports event, even girl scout meetings when called for. Now our daughters are looking at prom dresses, our son has his first girlfriend, our daughter has chosen a college, and their dad isn't there for those things. Graduations, weddings, you name it.  I'm so sorry for droning on like this!  It takes me about 4 hours just to get a load of laundry done!  He loved doing yard work and I haven't done anything.  

Comment by Debra Border on March 20, 2015 at 1:59pm

I know what you mean.  My husband died suddenly almost 7 years ago.  In the months/years following I got the feeling that people were a little uncomfortable with my grief.   They moved on, but I didn't move on with them.  Part of me still hasn't moved on.  I've made a new life, but the memory of my husband is part of it. 

Over a year ago my sister lost her grown son.  She still calls and talks about the same things she's talked about a hundred times.  She needs that in her journey to healing, and I listen for as long as she wants to talk and tell me about her son.  It's important to find someone who understands and has the patience to help you heal.  These groups are a great resource for that.

Comment by Michelle B. on March 20, 2015 at 1:06pm

My husband and his brother were killed at work on a beautiful Friday in September. We were looking forward to the weekend - typical stuff, band contest, football, stuff around the house.  We have 3 teenagers.  I've got his ashes but it still doesn't feel real for any of us.  The wave hits at any time.  I have a good support system of family and friends, and of course our children, but I just need another type of sounding board because I don't want to become a burden.

Comment by Ashley on March 5, 2015 at 11:26pm

I lost my 3 month old son. He was my only son. He died in his crib. I found him in the crib, and that sight will haunt me forever. So I try to think of all the moments that were good with him. I always sang to my kids, and still do. Singing to him always seemed to calm him down. Its been a year since his death. So hearing the songs that I would sing to him, hits me hard. It was hard trying to explain to my oldest daughter who was 5 at the time what happened to her baby brother. She always asked. But I think she understands alittle now. She draws pictures of the family and her baby brother in the sky.

Comment by Tiffany on March 5, 2015 at 11:18pm
It's been a little over 90 days sometimes I still cry as if it just happen I wish I could have a redo I surely would've held on tighter and kissed you longer I love you this is for you https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9iywT6mODUE
 

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