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Comment by Casey on March 3, 2015 at 11:41pm

Melisa C and Danny, yes how weird and disorienting it is that we cant ever see our mother again at least in this lifetime. I think we can't truly grasp the enormity of that loss but we are experiencing the loss everyday, till when? I believe, i will be through my grief when i am through with life. The Queens sang "The show must go on", but right now i feel like just leaving the theater altogether, but i paid the price to enter and i am just sticking around till its over, but I dont really care too much about the ending, you guys know what I mean? Because the character I really cared about has been killed off by the director apparently.

Comment by Danny on March 3, 2015 at 8:37am

Its been 18 months and I am breathing but its a grind.  I just came back to my parents house and while there is pain, the personal items and all are a source of comfort and sometimes feel that its all still there and yet i cried a lot in the first week.  As it comes closer to two years, its really as hard as ever but I try to call people who know my parents well.  Its very bizarre and like living in a zone as Melisa said below and I am trying to connect with those who are not married or have kids as it seems to be easier for those who do e.g. my sisters.

Comment by Melisa C on March 3, 2015 at 7:33am

Mom passed on January 2013. I can relate to many of you who posted before. I am not very close with the rest of the family, and I'm not married or have kids. So the loss of the most important person in my life changed everything.

I still feel sometimes that I'm living in another dimension, it's bizarre that my mom is not around, even after two years have gone by. I'd love to talk to her one last time, see her face again.

Comment by Casey on March 3, 2015 at 2:16am

I feel for you all, its been one year for me. I miss my mother even more. No kids or husband either. She was only 56. I am so tired of life but i keep breathing.

Comment by Dana on March 2, 2015 at 1:09pm

Last week was 2 yrs since I lost my Mom & best friend.  It isn't getting easier - I find it getting harder.  I know the feeling you have of wanting to be with her.  I feel the same way.  I know the hurt will be with me always.  I don't see how anyone gets over someone they loved so much.

Comment by Amy Gregory on March 1, 2015 at 12:29pm

Today marks two years since I lost my Best Friend and loving Mother. Although the pain is still there daily, today it is taking me to a whole different level. My heart aches to want to be with her again. I miss you today and everyday Mom.

Comment by Dixie Brossart on February 25, 2015 at 5:56am

Crystal- Your story is the mirror image of mine. My mom died 4 months ago after having early onset alzheimers for only 3 years.  Her Dr. at the assisted living she was at kept giving her harmful drugs.  She kept taking them in hopes of getting better or feeling better mentally. One day she freaked out...they kicked her out and put her in a nursing home.  She declined in a month, got a blood clot, went into cardiac arrest and died 3 minutes later from a pulmonary embolism.  I feel like dying every day.  It takes every ounce of strength in me to continue living or to not burn the place down that treated my mother this way.  I will never know for sure what happened to my Mom.  Only God knows. And for that I am miserable and in my own hell daily. She was 65. She was full of life.  She was my light.  Now it feels like I'm in the dark every second. 

Comment by Crystal on February 20, 2015 at 3:22pm

Libby - I am very sorry for your loss. Its still so fresh and crying and feeling like your going nuts is OK. Let yourself go through the motions. I too felt alone, still do. I would get angry that my sisters and brothers don't call me more or reach out to me because even if they are ok, I wasn't. Im NOT. Everyone deals with it differently. My dad trys to find things to keep him busy. Finishing projects he promised her. I think you dad may be trying to stay strong for you. Just continue to be there for each other. Its so hard to accept that this is our new reality, without them. I don't want it. I would sacrifice anything to have her back

Maddie- so sorry for your loss. I know those words don't compare to the magnitude of what you are feeling. Its a pain, a loss unimaginable and what seems like unbearable. Im sorry you feel alone and hope you find some comfort in this site. I think a part of us will always feel alone, pieces of us are missing. No one truly understood me the way my mom did.  

Comment by Crystal on February 20, 2015 at 3:02pm

Andre - I feel very similar. my mom was on a lot of medication that the doctor was constantly prescribing. I don't understand how a doctor can watch someone's health worsen with every prescription they write and keep doing it. My mom took what they gave her in hopes of getting better no longer being in pain. But she was overly medicated. My mom, my family..we trusted that the doctors had my mothers best interest at heart. we don't know the actual cause of my mothers death other than cardiac arrest. She also had a blood clot in her leg from fallin the week before. It soooo hard to accept she is gone. I wish more than anything could go back and prevent it and save it. Take her medicine... make the doctor acknowledge her clot more. she went to see them and they sent her home. I hate her doctor, I hate that I couldn't save her. I just want my mom back. Something so little and preventable took my mother forever.

Gnome- you are right, there is no love like a mothers love. I lost my mom my best friend at times worst enemy lol my protector my biggest fan my angel. I'll never be whole again without her. She was an amazing woman and Im proud to say I become more and more like her every day.  I am very sorry for your loss. I know its easy to get consumed with the regrets and what ifs but there was no way to predict what would happen or how we would feel. they know we love them.

Comment by Danny on February 18, 2015 at 5:27am

I am with you Andre Clark.  I did some of the same and the thing is that we did not do enough.

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