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Comment by Leesa Lynch on February 5, 2015 at 11:10am

well I have paid off the house no enjoyment there bc I used the life insurence to paid it off I aslo have been busy painting trying my best to change the way the inside looks it hard my soul mate passed away in the living room if  I dont have company I cant stay in the living room yet boy I miss him I find myself picking up the phone to call him yet I know he wont pick up 

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 9:50am

Yeah, I am totally having one of those days. I can manage to write/type a few words for worl and then I have to pause to hold my head. I just don't know what to do. I hate being alone in this world (son not included- speaking about having a partner). I just can't focus and as selfish as it sounds (because he did have some medical problems which he soesn't suffer anymore in Heaven) I just want my husband badk I want to get wrapped up in his arems and know that no matter what is going on, everything is going to be fine because we have each other. Now I am just lost. All I can do today i put my head in my hands and think about him and how much I miss him and how much better this world would be if we were back together again.

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 8:36am

I just don't know how to go on. I fake it for the sake of my son and those around me but in the end I feel like everytime I put on make up I am putting on a mask. I just feel like I'm either dead or dying inside. I haven' even been able to go to church because it's a rather small church so everyone knows us and I just can't stand being among all those people who know what happened and just look at me with sympathy for the 32 year old widow and her son. Being among a crowd of strangers (such as shopping) is easier to deal with. Then there is the importance of comforting my son and helping him through it so by the end if the day I am just so exhausted I'm ready for bed by like 6. Everything is just so hard- I just don't know how I'm going to keep going to come out the other side- I just move one day (sometimes 1 second or 1 minute) at a time and just pray I'll get through soon. Sometimes I feel like I'm even ready for some personal human interaction but then quickly snap back to readlity that I am to much of a mess on the inside to put another person through that. I do thank everyone on here for allowing me an outlet to speak my mind and feelings without repercussions or judgements- it truly does help. Thank you all.

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 2, 2015 at 6:53pm

Oh Karen, I know... You'll never feel that again in this life, but the important thing to remember is that you had it... not many ever attain it. There will be a day with no pain or tears. It may seem like it's taking forever but it will be soon. Just think about how fast the past few years has gone by... We just have to endure and hold on a little longer...

Comment by Karen T. on February 2, 2015 at 6:46pm

Life sucks.

Comment by Karen T. on February 1, 2015 at 11:22am

I so miss being in my husbands arms and kissing him, I just don't know what to do or what can help. All I want is that comfort back of being wrapped up in his arms and love. I hate feeling alone and being separated from my one true love and bestfriend.

Comment by Karen T. on January 31, 2015 at 6:23pm

I feel so alone right now. My son is stayong with his grandmother and I am just here, in bed, missing my husband. I don't know how to deal. I am a widow at 32 years old and my husband past at only 33. Everything I do just seems to be so exhausting. Life, my whole world, just seems to be me being lost and alone in this world. It is also so exhausting trying to keep up appearences for my son and other people. It's been almost 4 months and I am still just tkaing it day by day and sometimes even just ninute by minute. I just don't feel right and complete anymore and I am afraid that I never will find that special connection with someone ever again. So I am left to float through this world useless and alone.

Comment by Karen T. on January 31, 2015 at 6:23pm

I feel so alone right now. My son is stayong with his grandmother and I am just here, in bed, missing my husband. I don't know how to deal. I am a widow at 32 years old and my husband past at only 33. Everything I do just seems to be so exhausting. Life, my whole world, just seems to be me being lost and alone in this world. It is also so exhausting trying to keep up appearences for my son and other people. It's been almost 4 months and I am still just tkaing it day by day and sometimes even just ninute by minute. I just don't feel right and complete anymore and I am afraid that I never will find that special connection with someone ever again. So I am left to float through this world useless and alone.

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on January 29, 2015 at 6:24pm

Yes, just have to hold on... even on the days when you don't want to wake up and the nights when you want to choose your own fate... hold on. It'll be worth it.

Comment by Karen T. on January 29, 2015 at 2:17pm

Amen Zell, Amen.

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