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Comment by Shirley on January 29, 2015 at 12:36am

Thanks Roger & Trina for your most comforting messages to me. I get peace and comfort when I come on here and post to others that are grieving the same was as me.Today, the 29, will be nine months since my dear husband took his Journey to Heaven. Has been the longest nine months I have had to endure in my life. As we grow older,we do not have much time to plan for too many days , weeks or even hours,as our life seems to start to fade away slowly. and wonder how many lonely days and nights can we get through. Our partners have to leave us behind but part of our life goes away with them anyhow. Right now I feel as if I have been alone all my life and I know that is not true.I rely on GOD so much, to get me across the hurdles that jump up in front of me. Life really does continue to exist after the death, but who wants to live alone after you have had the best life possible with your loved one? Today will be difficult for me, but I am planning on planting some new Roses and a few other blooming flowers, keep singing our favorite song, ask God to keep the Devil away from me so I can enjoy my memories for a little while. Will send prayers for all of you, as your day slowly passes by for you also. Thanks for keeping this Comment Wall open for us to vend when we can not take another minute of the grief. My love and friendship go out to each of you. May GOD Bless every one of you too.

Comment by Roger on January 25, 2015 at 5:26am

Louraniah,
Afterward reading about all the death that you have had to witness. It is reassuring to me when you speak of your faith. That you can trust God to be in control. I have faith. But I have doubt too. I also am tired and just want to be with my loved ones. I am lost with out them. Trina is exactly like me. If a friend ask,how I am doing. I give them a standard answer. No one really wants to hear you complain. But in reality. I feel as if I am dying inside from all the heart break. I think getting more involved at church is a wonderful idea for you. You have so much to offer. I pray God will bless you.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on January 25, 2015 at 1:58am

Dear Louraniah,

So sorry to hear that you are having days full of tears remembering your beloved husband. It's so hard for those of us who have been left behind. I thought it would get a little easier over time and it has. But there days when the sadness just comes over you and the tears just flow and all you want is to be reunited with your beloved one. 

I have gone back to work, and my students and colleagues think I have "moved on." I just put up a brave front at work, but when I come back to our empty house my heart just aches. I miss my darling Joseph so much! Like you, I am more than ready for my name to be called to join  him. I can't wait.

Hope you feel a little bit better after the the 29th. Hang in there and know that your are in my thoughts and prayers.

Comment by Shirley on January 24, 2015 at 11:24pm

Hello to everyone,  Having a few days of flowing tears and the memories are real tough at this time.  Next week , on the 29, my hubby will have been gone 9 months and honestly it seems like ten years at times and then it seems like just a few days. at other times. Have gone through deaths so many times  with both my parents, one sister, four brothers, One husband , lung CANCER IN 1969 AND A SECOND HUSBAND IN 2014 , LUNG CANCER.   Once is bad enough along with four young children to raise by your self.  Then in your older years Cancer takes a second hubby.  People that is very hard to move forward from. The older we get the more we ask our self...why me? But I know GOD is in complete control of each of us and HE knows best for each of us. Going to start going to Church more, Singing hymns more, doing things in my Church more. Help those who need our help desperately and be tired when it comes bedtime so I can get some much needed sleep.  I am now waiting for my time to take my Journey  Home and reunite with all of the ones who had had to leave me behind. Then we all can stroll  over Heaven and see all things anew.  Will be ready when my name is called up yonder.  Hope all of you are slowly moving forwarding and some of the grief is slowly leaving . We  all will  meet some glad day up in the Holy Land and live in Peace and Comfort forever. That will be so wonderful for us.   Right.

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 18, 2015 at 3:48pm

im so sorry anna its all u nead it brings us bad memrys again wn u hear bad news lk ths 

i hate big c i do its so evil it is 

Comment by Shirley on January 18, 2015 at 4:23am

Anna,

Just read your post here and wanted to say hello.  Know the feeling you are going through too. Lost my hubby this past April 29 2014 and it seems like I have not seen or spoken to him for ten years. Death takes it toil on the ones left behind. The pain, lonely nights, the small or large trips together, the good times and some sad ones, all seems to cloud our minds on a daily basis . But I understand that GOD gets lonely also and HE wants his children to come home when they get sick. He can heal all their problems. With out GOD in my life  I do not think I could make it another day. Want to pray for you and may you get Comfort and Peace as you continue moving forward a little bit at a time. Also will pray for your friend who is going through grief also.  GOD Bless the both of you. A friend in grief with you.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on January 18, 2015 at 3:50am

Hello Anna,

Sorry to hear what you are going through four years after the passing of your beloved husband. I suppose when two people love/d each other deeply, the death of one leaves the surviving spouse to mourn their passing indefinitely. My heart goes out to you.

I lost my husband five months ago, and I know that I have a long, arduous road to walk all my myself. No respite, and not anytime soon.

Comment by anna l. on January 18, 2015 at 2:31am

I guess it has been months since I was in this site, yet tonight when sleep is a lost cause I know I can come here and be with friends.  Today was just a normal Saturday, running errands, shopping, just stuff that needs doing on my day off.  My last stop was groceries.  I have a friend that works as a cashier in the grocery store I go to.  Of course it was her till that was open...  I noticed that she was looking "off" so I asked if she was ok.  Nope, she was not!  She had just got back from driving a 5 hour round trip to visit her BIL before her shift started.  She went on to tell me how he was diagnosed with skin cancer a month ago and he is in hospice now, in great pain, medicated, and will not be with us much longer.  It was like a bucket of ice water was dumped on me.  All the feelings came flooding back like it was happening to my husband all over again.  I did the best I could to speak with her about it, and told her if her sister needed to talk to someone who had been there, done that, she could pass my number along to her.  It was all I could do to not vomit, scream, and run from the store!  Almost 4 years but there are triggers that blast right past all the walls.  Today and tonight are for mourning my love.  Tomorrow I will try to put the pieces back together but not tonight.  As much as I loved Tom, I mourn him, I love him, miss him, cry for him, and cry for all the others that continue to be cut down by this tragic monster. 

Comment by Shirley on January 15, 2015 at 4:35pm

Karen.....Have added you to my prayer list and  wanted to say hello today and ask how you are doing ? Know GOD is giving you Comfort and Strength to move slowly forward. Your two sons are being protected by HIS love too.  My husband will be gone nine months in a few days and to me it seems and feels like ten years.  Know he is in a far better place than here on Earth, where he was suffering from many different health issues. Hold on to your Faith and Memories.  Hugs for all of you !!

 

Comment by Amy Gregory on January 15, 2015 at 2:58pm

Hi Karen! My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Being a Mother of two boys, I can't even imagine the heartbreak of losing a child. Let alone, a Mother losing a Daughter. There is NOTHING like a Mother/Dughter relationship. I spoke to my Mom daily and lost her within three weeks of being admitted to the hospital. She was our Family Rock. I on the other hand was 42, far to young but LOVE your story because I am Happy you got to spend the time with your Daughter so many do not. May you heal in time and look forward to seeing each other again on the other side. XO

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