Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jesse's Mom on September 30, 2014 at 7:53pm

Another perspective

 

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on October 1, 2014 at 3:40pm

iv saw a lot of stuff on tv lk ths dr says on hear or storys on byond blef fact or ficsion as well 

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Permalink Reply by Jesse's Mom on September 30, 2014 at 8:00pm

A near death experience that was recorded by this person's grandfather.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on October 1, 2014 at 3:41pm

yea it can hapen if u go on dianas blog a dc u can sea a lot of difrnt srorys off evry 1

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on October 1, 2014 at 3:47pm

me 2 body letng me dwn a lot arm frozen sholdr wsh is no fun bit lozing loved 1s is defntly no fun its not

my arm wn pain is so bad my fingrs get pins nedels in it dr givs u pain killrs fizio u dnt get mny sesion nw only giv u a few 

thn leg i hrt lst yr coz of a silly fall plays up 

i trn 40 in nov evry 1 says lfe bgins it 40 no it dont it bgins day u r brn thn god saton he or she puts thru sh@t sorry 2 say 

its ok 2 ramble l r rambl as mush as u nead 2 on hear we dont mndits ok

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on October 1, 2014 at 6:09pm

LR, I wish none of were living in this hell. I know what you mean about feeling that you have become an outsider; it's the same for me. I know the world still exists, but it really doesn't for me. It is simply not the same place, because my husband is not with me in it. The world doesn't matter to me anymore. I see no beauty or joy in it anymore.

That's awful that your son was killed in an accident, and that at first they weren't even going to prosecute. At least they are going to prosecute, now, but of course that doesn't bring back your child. My family (Mom, Dad, sister, BIL -- sister's husband) are great; they love me very much and I love them very much. My sister and her husband are very good friends of my husband -- they actually knew him before I did, as he was the drummer in their band. They considered him their brother, long before he and I got married. As a result, I find it a little bit easier to spend time with them than with my parents, because they knew him much better than my parents did (though my parents also knew and love him). Anyway, even with my wonderful family, it's not enough. I don't understand how anything could ever be enough for someone whose soulmate has died. Do you have any other family (spouse/partner, siblings, close friends) you can at least talk to about all this, people who can support you? It doesn't help much, in my experience, but it's better than a lack of support.

I also don't understand why evil people are allowed to live, sometimes even to prosper, while wonderful people die too young. My husband was not perfect, no one is, but he is truly the best person I have ever known. He is kind and loving and generous, and so many people came to his wake you would have thought he was famous -- family, of course, but also friends, coworkers, old schoolmates, etc. He deserved to live a good, long, happy life, with me. His family of origin has a lot of problems -- there are good people in his family, but many of them have serious issues. At least some of them, like his father and sister, love him. His "mother" is a truly evil woman, and she should have died instead of him. Finally he had good friends and he had me, and he knew that I loved him completely and unconditionally -- so why couldn't he stay here in this life with me and enjoy that love, after such a difficult childhood?  I can only conclude that there is no such being as a "loving god", because no truly loving god would have done this to us. Or perhaps, best case scenario, there is a loving god but it is powerless, but then it is useless as well. Anyway, that's my view on it.  Before my husband died I was agnostic, but hoped that there was a god, and was thinking that maybe there was, as evidenced by the fact that my beloved and I had found each other and loved each other so much. But any slight faith I may have almost had in a god was destroyed the moment my husband died. If there is a god, I have no use for her/him, and no desire to be with her/him.  I just want to be with my husband (and eventually the rest of my family). I hope you are right in your belief that there is an afterlife; I remain agnostic on that point. I am actually more agnostic about that now than I used to be before my husband died, because it matters to me so much more now, and I need real proof.

I think you're right that there are various factors that determine whether or not people recover, to any degree, from a loved one's death. I have not had a traumatic life, I have been lucky that way. Until my husband died, I would say the worst things that ever happened to me were the divorce of my parents when I was 13, and the death of our (mine and my husband's) little girlcat a few years ago. Awful things, but things from which one can recover with time. But my husband's death is my death too. We were together, exclusively, for nearly 13 years.  We were married for one week when he died. What kind of loving god would allow that shit?!? None. 

Our relationship is so special, our souls so intertwined, that no life is possible for me since he has died, nor do I want one. I want only to die and to be with my husband (if there is an afterlife; if not, I would still rather die and cease to exist, rather than feel this pain.  Please note, I am NOT recommending this for you or anyone else, I am only stating how I feel).

 

 

 

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on October 1, 2014 at 9:46pm

If you are willing/able, I would like to know what you mean in your last paragraph about the synchronicities, and about being "unaware of certain things of spirit", and the different choices you would have made. But if you don't feel comfortable sharing, I understand.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on October 2, 2014 at 3:23pm

least on hear we can rambl scream rant so on hear it lst we dont get told hw we shud feal

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on October 2, 2014 at 3:27pm

do u evr go on delphi its a free spritsl sit it is evry few sataday or sun tht do a demo thy do wear loveds 1s can cum thru ths a lot had loved 1s thru thy hav 

i joind lst yr coz iv dreamt of loveds 1s i nver net coz thy died bfre i wz born  or saw loveds 1s clears as day evry now thn 

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on October 2, 2014 at 3:39pm

i try 2 post a lot 10 mins ago so its in all sml bits it is

my dad died in 2012 on 3rd mrch he did at 220am potmrtem thy did on him wz full of bull shit 3 dfrnt tmes he supost 2 of died 3 diftrnt reprts of bull so 

i no tm we got th 2 wrd at 230 coz we wear 2lte th say he died at 220am ty did its lk a bad movie it wll not stop or we cn not delte it we can not

coz its 1 of thm horble thngs tht non of us can foget on hear day loved 1s died its so horbl so on

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Permalink Reply by Jesse's Mom on October 1, 2014 at 10:36pm

Bluebird, I will pm you on that, tomorrow...

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on October 1, 2014 at 10:40pm

ok, LR. I hope you have a peaceful night.

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