Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Wander on June 13, 2014 at 11:56am

I'm so sorry. It's been nine weeks-- two whole months-- since my precious husband left me and our kids so unexpectedly. He took most of me with him, and all I've been able to do since then is go through the motions. I'm trying to pay bills and get ready for the vacation we'd been planning with his parents since Christmas. I don't want to go, I don't want to stay in the world anymore, but I'm forced to. I cry all the time, but I feel the awful numbness too... my heart's been torn out of me, and I feel the void. 

There's no right or wrong way to grieve. We all experience the nightmare differently. Please be gentle with yourself. Hugs.

Permalink Reply by charles daley on June 13, 2014 at 2:33pm

cindy i know how you feel my wife passed away 4 years ago and  i cried at that time and i'm a person that keeps everything iand now my mom passed away two months ago and i'm though the motions like the last 5 years going back to thei first  time my wife got sick i still feel guilty regarding my wife's and mom passing i haven't moved on but i want to. the only thing i have to say is give you time to grief but remember he is in heaven. i'm very sorry for your loss charlie

Permalink Reply by Debra A. Whitemaine on June 16, 2014 at 1:46pm

Cyndii I am so sorry for your loss.  We all grieve differently and in our own time.  Don't feel guilty because of it.  I went thru the same thing when my father passed but I knew he would want me to be happy and to not stop living.  Crying helps me to cope and I feel better after.  Don't judge yourself for how you are handling your grief.  Maybe do things to honor your boy.  Just do what feels right for you.  Take care and god bless.

Permalink Reply by Danielle McEwe on June 26, 2014 at 8:40am

I know this feeling all too well. I lost my little sister in a car accident on August 22, 2013. I was numb for months and I kept saying that at some point I was going to break down because I was so calm and was able to handle it at the time and stay strong for everyone around. It wasn't until about 6 months after my sister died that I broke down, and all of the emotions that I had pent up flooded out of me. Do not feel guilt! Your body and mind is protecting you and no one doubt that you are sad or upset. You are just getting through it. Just remember, we are all here for you even though we are all grieving differently.

Take Care

Permalink Reply by Cyndii on July 1, 2014 at 1:05am

Thank you everyone for your kind words.  I have cried a little more in the past week or so.  My hubby and I went to a local ice cream place a few days ago and an ambulance crew showed up for a treat.  I lost it there.  It was the same ambulance that my son was in.  We walked away to a spot where I couldn't see it and my hubby held me as I cried.  My granddaughters were finishing there ice cream so we waited until the were done and then left.  hubby drove to the other side of the parking lot so I didn't have to see the ambulance.  It was hard, there was a flood of images that filled my head.  But I did feel alittle better afterward.

 

Also my sister's mother in law passed away a few days ago and the wake was today at the same funeral home we used for Abel.  I was anxious all last night thinking of going there.  I was so upset just thinking about it that I felt sick.  I finally called my sister today and said I just couldn't go. She was very understanding and said she understood.  I did send flowers and will send a card too.  Two of my daughters went which was good.  They were a little upset but they said they did ok.  Im so thankful for all the support I have, family, friends, and online. 

Permalink Reply by Kristine Rosendale on September 10, 2014 at 12:32am

It has been a month to the day that I found my boyfriend laying in our bathroom dead after a heroin overdose.  I have 2 kids I work full time and Im in school full time.  I am also in the process of moving because my lease had a crime free clause which was violated by his actions.  I cry and Im upset but I feel like since this has happened I haven't had a minute to sit and let it all set in.   Maybe im not allowing myself that time because Im not ready to except that he is gone.  I too am like waiting for that breakdown.  My dr and counselor make me feel like something is wrong with me based on that fact that im moving forward.  I have kids I cant just fall apart.  I find comfort in knowing others are feeling the way I am and dealing with their loss in a similar way. 

Permalink Reply by bernice on September 30, 2014 at 12:05pm

After the sudden loss of our father many years ago, I cried for a month.. my sister sat and played with a cotton reel and said or did nothing. She eventually broke down 10 years later. People are different around loss. It has only been four weeks and you are still numb, you have not moved on... just going through the motions. Treasure your granddaughters xx