Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Bill Smith on March 29, 2014 at 11:26pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Pls know that this takes time, and lots of it, to deal with.  It may seem impossible now, but you can survive this.  Experience talking. 

Permalink Reply by Laurie on March 30, 2014 at 9:12am

I am so sorry, there are just no words. I hope you have good people to help you. The next couple of months will be so hard and all the platitudes are useless. I always thought that I would be able to say the right thing to someone going through what I did. But the words just don't come, no one can make it better, no matter how hard they try. The light at the end of this tunnel is there, although you won't think so right now..... Please just rely on your friends and family.

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on March 30, 2014 at 4:26pm

im so sorry toyanne all i no big c lung c is evil why god let ths hapen i dont no iv lots a lot of famly 2 lung c all sorts of big c on my dads sie of famly i o my dads famly is big bt i dnt thng i cud lose so mny in lst 2 or 3 yrs 

sorry if im sayng wong thngs 

all i no nw hosplte nurses drs can be full of bull thy say yea thy will get betr thn thy dont so sorry

Permalink Reply by Megan Neeley on March 30, 2014 at 8:17pm

I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. Cancer takes those we love away much to fast, my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in May 2013 & then went through chemo & radiation. In December he passed away after the doctors had said that the tumor had shrunk and everything was okay. I was very angry & still slightly am. But as the time passes it gets a little easier to be less angry at him and more grateful for all the time I did have with him. You are in my thoughts Toyanne.

Permalink Reply by VickyJ on March 31, 2014 at 7:03am

Toyanne, I share your bewilderment and grief.  My Mark had already beaten esophageal cancer and was getting better when he suddenly became jaundiced.  He was in the hospital a week and then we were told he had 6 months because he had many new cancers in his abdomen.  He lived exactly one week after that. Anger is a very normal reaction; I think joining this group is an excellent start and I would also encourage you to find a professional counselor to help you through this journey.  May God Bless!

Permalink Reply by Nicholle on June 3, 2014 at 6:21pm

I am so so so so sorry for your loss.  That was so fast, my head is spinning just thinking about it.  I can't imagine.  I am so sorry. This is a terribly hard journey. I lost 2 parents to cancer in the past 7 months. My moms was a nightmare for 22 straight months until she passed (wishing for them to pass because the pain is so horrible for the is an unbearable place to be also), my father in law had leukemia. It came on fast, and suddenly 3 parents total are gone in under 3 years. 

This is a wonderful place to be, everyone understands no matter who they are grieving or how the passing occurred, the very bare essentials are the same: the shock (I can't believe your husband is gone already, so I know that must replay in your head over and over), the anger that has no where to go (but here, let it loose), the desperate feeling, the all of it. 

I am so sorry. I hope you can feel that you are NOT alone here! I'm sorry for all of the things that you have to work on right now when you can't even think straight.  

Sending love. 

Nicholle

Permalink Reply by Michael Morton on September 4, 2014 at 2:08pm

Toyanne, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.  I lost my wife last year to lung cancer, I know how hard it can be.  I would like to say that it gets better but a year later I am still depressed all the time.  I think I may have been to "attached" to my wife....if that's possible.  I hope you start feeling better soon.  My prayers go out to you...

Michael

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth Bennett on October 3, 2014 at 7:53pm

Toyanne, I know just how you feel -- only I was given 4 months instead of just a few days.  We did not know anything was wrong at all before Feb. 24th, and he passed on June 24th.  no hint of any problem, no shortness of breath or anything like that.  We thought he was in the best shape he had ever been in his life (went to the Y almost every day, etc) We were married 46 years, this month would have been 47.  I am lucky in that this years' anniversary is on a Wednesday so I can go to work and pretend it is just another day.  He quit smoking EIGHT years ago, we thought we did not have to worry about that any more.  I am so sorry you did not have a longer time to adjust to this awful reality, but I know how you feel about being mad at the doctors and mad at him for leaving you.  Although I am older than you, those feelings are the same.  All I can say is stay as strong as he always knew you were.  His conception of you may be unrealistic, but right now you have to live up to it.  God bless.

Permalink Reply by Lilliana on October 8, 2014 at 2:41am

Toyanne, I'm so sorry for your loss.  My love passed away on May 29th of this year from lung cancer and he was given 6 to 8 months but he only lasted about 3.  I have our 2 year old daughter that looks so much like him and I feel like my life has moved in slow motion everyday ever since that horrible day I placed my hand on his chest as I use to do everyday when I woke up to make sure his heart was still beating, that evening on the 29th of May I felt nothing when I placed my hand on his chest.  His heart had stopped, I was numb, lost, I still am I miss him...I miss him so much, we were together for 8 years he was only 49 years old and this past Monday, October 6th he would have been 50.

Hang in there, I feel angry almost everyday because I feel like he should of grown old with me and now I'm alone, I feel like my mind is no longer mine because my thoughts are so unreal :(

I pray that your pain subsides a little more everyday as I do for myself and anyone that has lost a loved one this way!!!!