on April 8th,, my husband, best friend, and soulmate.. died from esophageal cancer!!!  he had wanted to die at home with me beside him,, and that is exactly what happened..hospice was coming to our home to help take care of him, as he couldn't get out anymore,, we were married for almost 30 years!!! and to top it off,, exactly 2 weeks after he died,,, our first grandchild,, was born,,,,a granddaughter,,,jim had seen a 3d ultrasound of her and in it she looked just like our daughter when she was newborn!! so he was excited at the idea of her coming....but he just couldn't hang on any longer I guess... I know its been 3 months,, but im going crazy with missing him being here...our friends all helped out the first 4 weeks but now,, they pretty much stay to themselves.. this just makes me sadder and lonlier... I thought I knew what grief was  but the death of my spouse has taken something out of me,, I don't think it will ever go away..i hate this so badly,,, and I need my good friends.. why did they just  leave me alone like  this?

Views: 137

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

It has been a year and a half since my mother passed away. I was her caretaker here at our house where she has a room. I still cannot go into her room without breaking down. Today I thought maybe I should get rid of everything including the house and start over. Then I thought no that would make me sad too. My friends have not been around as much either. I guess with our age, I am 51 and been with my spouse for 36 years this August. I think the friends have health issues in their families also? I have not worked in over 2 years so that keeps me home most of the time now. Mother left me as the new family matriarch and there are days I wonder if I can handle it all.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

This is a really nice place to vent.

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 38 years on June 23, 2014 of lung cancer. I had hospice for 1 week before he passed. We also had a deal that we would go at home with each other there. I followed thru but it sure is not of much comfort! I am so devastated and lost I don't know where it begins or ends. I'm sorry I can't offer you any words of encouragement because I have not found them myself. Everyone says it will get better. BS, they obviously have not been where I am!

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service