Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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That's how I feel too Linda. Sometimes I just can't let that thought in. It is just too hard to accept. It makes my heart flutter just to imagine hearing my Daniel's sweet voice and get that hug. Oh how can they be gone? Sometimes I feel I have made strides in dealing with it but then that wave hits me. I know how that feels first thing in the morning LR. Just hard to make sense out of why I'm here and how to love myself. So much regret. I am working on that but have so little energy. Love to you all.
every day I miss my daughter so so much, but today is one of those days where I simply can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'll never see her again while I still live. that i'll never hear her voice again, that we'll never have another conversation good or bad. it just isn't real.
My son Jesse has been gone for a little over 21 months...Every day I wake up I am still in this living death...I have watched others as they have moved on but I am still stuck in the nightmare of a day of his death....his last moments torment me, I dodge through the streets of our town trying to outrun the reminders he is no longer with me physically. The faith I once had is gone...I know longer know or understand God, I have no life now, every day is a big pretense to make everyone else happy, or to pretend I am not as totally destroyed as I am. I pray every day to die before my eyes open and it is my nightly prayer as well...to join him. My son was exceptionally kind and caring and what did he get, ran over by some lowlife woman, who is now on the run, so who knows if we will even get a trial. To never hear his voice or have his company again is more than I can bear. Not that I would actively seek to end my life but I will not be complaining if I found out I was terminal. This is my second child death...I have had a hard life...too many disappointments, but to take away my beloved son, in the manner of death he had is more than I can bear. My husband hides away each day after work in his room, he wanders my son's place crying...nobody understands this torment except if you lost a child, I even got to play a part in his death, I bought the damn motorcycle that killed him....how I hate myself....
for all of us, we need to find our inner strength in order to find peace.
thank you linda, but I stopped believing him when he took my life away
even though we cannot fully understand God's plan we must never lose sight of Him. He will give you the wings to fly or carry you if needed. Please try and keep the faith, it's actually gotten us this far if we think about it. I personally don't quite understand my daily strength but I do know that my daily prayer, one on one, has kept me sane.
Sending you a gentle hug Kim and all of us whose lost our most treasured children...
when we lose our child, I feel theres nothing more to live for, I cant move on, sometimes I find it hard to breathe. I hate when people say the ( D ) word, my shawn just went away, to where he can heal. but my heart will never heal. I feel empty, lost,and I know most of myself went with him. now I just wait to go to.i understand everyones unbearable pain, being here with you people im not so alone anymore but I cant continue to live with such pain in my heart. I ask shawn everyday to heal and come back to me, if I don't think this way ill die. I want my baby back, I need him so much. my tears still flow everyday and night. if there is a god please take me to my son please.
Gale,
It is not an easy process and takes a long time to feel we can give away the last of what ties us to our beloved children. It is a tearing , an abrupt end to what we perceive as the last links to our children. I think that if we dont want to part with anything it is fine cos it feels like we are denying that they ever lived. This is so heartbreaking and so painful that whatever we decide and whenever we decide to make changes it is all valid. There are no rules. Nothing says that we will not 'move on'. Life will force us to continue on this journey whether we want to or not. I wish our realities were different, I wish we never had such a death blow meted out to any of us here. But the fact that we do may also mean that we are chosen to understand life better. xoxoxoxox to all my friends here.
Have not been posting, but I think of you all every day and I try to keep up with the posts. There are no words that haven't already been said on here and no feelings that haven't been expressed. I find every day the same and every day a little different.
Teresa, I have read what your aunt said to you a couple of times and each time I read it I get the chills. So sad for her loss, but what a compassionate heart.
Now I want to ask if anyone has heard from Merry. I keep in touch with her every once in awhile, but she has not responded lately and I know she was very depressed the last few times she posted.
Merry if you are reading the posts I beg you to let us know you are here.
We can't always stay in our little cocoon. We need to keep an eye on others. Some of you that have been here a few years know what I'm talking about.
May blessings of peace come to all of us.
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