Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lynn Boyd on July 20, 2014 at 5:55pm

Ivis, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am 5 months into my grief journey, since I lost my beloved husband who died suddenly of the FLU, so I understand the pain of sudden loss. I urge you to find a support group you can attend, I have found tremendous solace and compassion in my groups.  There was no reason for your beautiful child to die, but you must go forward to honor his memory and keep him alive in your heart.  May I recommend a book for you, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Brooke Noel and Pamela Blair.  There may be a copy at your library, or there are inexpensive used copies available on Amazon.   It has been a real comfort for me.  This grief journey sucks.  I still don't know who I am anymore or what I'm supposed to do, either.   Be kind to yourself, and take care of yourself.   

Permalink Reply by Ivis Diaz on July 20, 2014 at 6:11pm

Thank you, I am sorry for your lost, I will go look for the book, I find no comfort on talking to my friends, and I am afraid of making my family feel even worse, usually I just read what others say and hide from my family on my weaker days.

Permalink Reply by Danielle McEwe on July 21, 2014 at 12:03pm

Never let the fear of how you believe it will make others fell affect how you deal with your grief. No one knows what you are feeling but you, even if they feel as though they may. I will never know your grief from losing your son, I will only know how I felt when losing my little sister at the age of 21 in a head on collision 11 months ago. My mother lost her youngest daughter and I will never know how she feels. Please just know that you do have support and that you DO have the strength to get through this, even if you feel that you do not. Do what you need to do to get through this. We are here for you!

Danielle

Permalink Reply by Danny on August 24, 2014 at 3:14am

I might get this book too, i've read the reviews and it may help.  I've just read the short summary of the one by Ken Doka and essentially the shock/disbelief stage is in a sense where i am at.  i know what has happened but for some reason there is a numbness to some extent.  I have felt the pain profusely though so it is slowly setting in and i am trying to figure out what to do next. 

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on July 21, 2014 at 3:41pm

ivis im so sorry for yore loss is not fair 2 hear kids 2 pass 

Permalink Reply by Wander on July 22, 2014 at 11:23am

I am so, so sorry. It's not fair, not in the least. It wasn't fair that my precious husband was taken three days after his 40th birthday, leaving me and our three kids to struggle one without him... It's not fair that any of us have to be here. I have no clue what I'm supposed to do now either. What I want more than anything is to just stop breathing, but I can't figure out how.

Permalink Reply by Ivis Diaz on July 22, 2014 at 9:34pm

I am sorry for your lost, I keep negotiating with some invisible power to trade places with my son, I torture myself every night till I finally give in, I know all his pictures to the last detail, I know pain, it's not the same as yours but it's the pain of knowing no matter what we do, what we change, our love one will never be with us, I know at some point in my life I am going to need to get it together and take care of my other son and husband but for now all I can do I breath

Permalink Reply by Connie K on July 23, 2014 at 11:00am

Ivis, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry to have to welcome you to this site. I lost my 17 year old son suddenly in a car accident caused by another.

It's been 19 months for me but seems like yesterday. I too keep saying "Please, you were supposed to come home. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I have so many things I want to say to you and do with you. Please come back." I still can't believe it I guess even though it is my reality. His absence consumes me.

I hope you find some support and comfort here.

Permalink Reply by Ivis Diaz on July 24, 2014 at 9:33pm

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I got a call today to let me know the driver was DUI

Permalink Reply by Wander on July 24, 2014 at 11:19pm

I am so, so sorry. :(

Permalink Reply by Taylor's mom on August 7, 2014 at 5:19pm

My heart is breaking for you. I know exactly how you feel. My daughter was involved in the exact same type of accident. It has been almost 11 months for me. Some days are good and others are not so good. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Hugs.