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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Latest Activity: Aug 13, 2023

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Missing my identity 2 Replies

Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.

i need my mom

Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.

I want my Mommy 1 Reply

Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.

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Comment by Eliza on July 10, 2013 at 10:13pm
7 months since mom died. I am only now just starting to say she "died" rather than she "passed". This month is a little tougher than past months--next week is her birthday. We plan to celebrate in her memory. Miss her every day!
Comment by Sandra Nichols on July 10, 2013 at 1:36pm

Hi Nancy, Yes, the dynamics in a family change so much with death. My sister and I fought about the most stupid things but, thankfully we have learned to work together and are closer now. Please dont fret about your siblings. Death has not changed part of them from what they already were when in this world with your mom. Just be at peace yourself - try not to make anything worse - and know your mom knows your heart.

Comment by Nancy L on July 10, 2013 at 1:07pm

Maddy - I feel for you dear.  Don't stop grieving, tell your baby all about your mom.  There is no scheduled 'getting over it' time alotted to you.  I am sure it will be a very emotional day for you when you child is born. Your mom will be in your heart...she always will. 

 

I will be a grandma again in the next week.  I keep thinking that how my mom (baby's great-grandma) would have loved to see my son's 2nd daughter.  She would be so so proud.  One of the last times she saw all of us, she told me how J really loved her daddy...and I told her that her daddy really loves his little girl.  My mom just smiled and nodded her head.  Just a few days before my mom passed, she was in a lot of pain and was very sick.  I told her she was going to be a great grandma again, I saw the peace that took over her body for at least a few moments, she closed her eyes and smiled for a long while. 

Comment by Nancy L on July 10, 2013 at 12:56pm

Right now I feel a tremendous weight on my chest.  Losing my mom was hard, very hard, but my brother and sister are making it so much harder.  It is amazing to see how people become when there is money/land involved.  I am greiving my mom, I am greaving for how her heart/spirit must be hurting from what they are doing.  I know she is gone, but does her spirit know how horrible 2 of her children are being? 

I miss my mom, I know she was ready to go, I know she was sick and in a lot of pain. 

It was very difficult to focus on anything afer my mom passed, but I went back to work at 2 weeks.  It was good to get back into a routine.  AT least that way I had something else to think about than my mom.  I too had a hard time getting out of bed sometimes, sometimes on weekends I stayed in bed. 

Comment by Jeff R on July 9, 2013 at 5:39pm

It's ok to feel this way...and you'll do great Maddy!  Grief will come and go, but now you'll have a little someone to keep you busy and smiling!

Comment by Sandra Nichols on July 9, 2013 at 7:58am

Maddy, give yourself permission to cry. It is perfectly ok. AFter 1 1/2 years from my mom's death now and I got so sad today I barely made it to work with tears streaming down my face I could hardly move. I am so very sad but the grief comes and goes in waves. Now I am glad I have work and came in - something to take my mind off of the grief. You will be the same way. I know it. It will be ok.   

Comment by Amanda on July 8, 2013 at 9:42pm

Maddy, you can do this! I also felt that people expected me to be "over" my mom and completely focused on the baby. But the heart doesn't work like that. You don't have to put your grief away or ignore it. I can't explain how it works, but you will be able to grieve and cry for your mom while being an awesome mom yourself.

Comment by Maddy on July 8, 2013 at 2:43pm

In a week it will be 4 months since my mom died suddenly and unexpectedly on March 15th - and it is exactly 10 days till my due date. I feel like the closer I get to my due date the more emotional I am getting and not always in a positive way. I miss my mom so much and I am so scared to do this without her, but I feel like people expect me to be just happy and anxious about having a new child and that I am supposed to be "over" my mom's passing by now. I don't know if this is my imagination or not but I feel like I can't grieve anymore. I feel like I have to put that all away now and get ready to be a mom myself. How do I do both? How do I miss my mom and cry for her and still be a responsible and good mom myself?

Comment by Jeff R on July 8, 2013 at 11:30am

It's tremendously hard when you want to desperately help a parent whose health is failing...and frustrating when there is little or nothing you can do.  My Mom had very limited mobility at the end and had quite a bit of pain, not to mention swollen legs from a circulatory system that was failing.  You try to help them, get them to take meds, etc., but often, they are going to do only what they want to, no matter how hard you try.  I went thru this stuff nearly weekly, and a few days before my Mom passed.  Thankfully, she was of sound mind..and in good spirits on the day she passed....I think she was ready for her pain and struggles to end.  Early that day, I had called the doctor's office and requested an ad-hoc visit for the next day, because she was just so uncomfortable.  I like to think she knew how much I wanted to help her, even when there was little I could do.  But, it's hard to let go of those final regrets you may have.

Comment by Sheila B. on July 8, 2013 at 10:53am

Cynthia, the blank look hurts. I kept feeling like she was mad at me but didn't know why. I kept asking. My mother had gone in for surgery weeks before and I told her I loved her and she didn't answer back. It had been awhile, unless she wrote it in a card. Now all I have are those cards and the book she sent me years before she passed called "Every Daughter Should Have a Book Like This To Remind Her How Wonderful She Is". I will post some parts when I have more time. I cherish it. It makes me cry but close to her again. When I was younger we used to say it all the time to each other, like her and my daughter still did. It hurt she didn't respond not knowing if she would make it out.

 

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