Comment

Comment by Sandra Nichols on July 3, 2013 at 12:39pm

I"m glad it helps some people here, to talk about work. People at work, can be understanding about this mourning situation. I told my manager I was in a very fragile state but, working would be good therapy for me if I could just be protected from most of the political problems (that is my hotspot right now here). My job was pretty new and I took it while my mom was going downhill and she actually died while I had been on this job for only about 3 or 4 months. I took one week off and didn't want to go back. I taliked to my sister a lot and we made it through together. Now I can come to work and most days can get myself out of bed ok. but, I definately need the job so I try to focus on just strictly survivial. I can say, that with some time, you will probably be able to get up easier .   

Comment by Maddy on July 3, 2013 at 11:25am

I am not sure if this will help anyone, as everyone is different, but after my mother died suddenly and tragically this past March, I was allowed only 2 weeks bereavement leave. I took another week unpaid but then I had to get back to work - I needed the money and I had responsibilities to my students. Going back to work caused me a lot of anxiety - I was so sure I was going to break down at work. However, thanks to a supportive husband, and very supportive colleagues I found that going back to work actually provided me with some distraction. I almost felt like myself again, normal, when I went back to work and started teaching again. I found I could still teach - it came naturally to me. I also found that being at work for 6 - 8 hours a day was often the only time I wasn't consciously thinking about my mom or crying.

I am about to go off work again, although this time for a different reason: I am about to give birth to my first child. And to be honest I am dreading the weeks between working and giving birth. I have come to depend on the distraction that work provides. I guess I really hope my son arrives soon so that I can focus on him rather than my grief.

Perhaps this isn't the case for everyone, but I found that by focussing on some tasks or work I was better able to cope with my grief.

Comment by Danny on July 2, 2013 at 9:38am

I had actually just finished doing a course and now in between jobs and now this shock.  Financial stress too but i don't know if I can actually work.  What do you guys think, is it possible to start a new job in this mental state or should I wait it out for 6-8 months and then go for it ? I am concerned because since I am not 100% the company might just force me out sooner than later.  This is the biggest shock for me so I don't know if I can really deliver results right now from day one. Thanks Sandra and Rachel for your inputs on this ie ability to go back to work or start work.

Comment by Sandra Nichols on July 2, 2013 at 7:59am

Hi all. It has been about 1 1/2 years since my mom has died. Some days I can go on automatic. Other days I get so very depressed and sad that I can't move. It is definately up and down... That is normal for everyone i think. I jsut about quit my much needed job withint the first 6 or 8 months after mom passed because I honestlyl could not see the point in anything. Just hang in there for at least a year if you can.

Comment by Rachel Ann Moss on July 2, 2013 at 7:52am

Thanks, Danny. Every day is different. Yesterday was my first day back to work in three weeks (financial stress further complicating my life as I attempt to mourn...). Luckily I work in a tiny office where I can lounge and be alone most of the time. This is nice because I don't have to confront my boss or coworker, and I can basically just do whatever I want if I can't focus on work. Pretty sure what I'm dealing with now is going to lead to "movement" in the form of me quitting this job soon as well though. 

Comment by Danny on July 2, 2013 at 7:47am

Right now Rachel emotional movement is also good enough. You've done well to even get to work.  I am not even there yet. Keep sharing here.

Comment by Rachel Ann Moss on July 2, 2013 at 7:43am

Danny, body movement would be good, I'm sure you're right. But I have no energy either. Far too depressed. The fact that I physically got up and came to work is as much as I can muster.

Comment by Danny on July 2, 2013 at 7:38am

Another thing I have been told to do is to get movement in my body.  I have not the energy till now to do anything.  I don't have to deal with her online presence since she was not into using technology of any sort except the phone.  The phone is tough to use though for me and my hands shiver.

Comment by Rachel Ann Moss on July 2, 2013 at 7:31am

Thank you all for the kindness you showed me when I made my first post a couple of weeks back. I appreciate everything you all have said, but it seems I made that post in a rare moment of strength. I have been unable to even visit this site again since then until this moment. I'm having a really rough day today. I'm alone at work. I finally decided to get back online (after about a month) because I was eager for some sense of "movement" in my emotions... this has caused me a lot of pain and anguish and tears, seeing her pictures and comments and general online presence left behind. It's been almost a month since she passed. I still literally feel desperate and panicking just typing those words. Every time the commenter here named Ann makes a post, I nearly have an anxiety attack because my Mother's name is Ann.

Comment by Muuna on July 2, 2013 at 7:23am

Hi everyone, well..... Tomorrow is mummys birthday.. How to get through the day... I don't know... 3 months without her

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 360
• 361
• 362
• 363
• 364
• …
• 542
• Next ›
• Page