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Comment by Nancy L on June 27, 2013 at 3:27pm

Tomorrow will be 6 months since my mom passed away.  Today a very good friend of my mothers passed away.  She was almost like my 2nd mom.  I am so very sad.  I knew tomorrow would be a very difficult day, but now it is especially hard.  The only thing that I find comfort in is that my mom was waiting there for her friend when she left us.  I can picture them hugging again and then sitting down and talking.

Comment by Sandra Nichols on June 25, 2013 at 3:29pm

Yes, I can see moving away from some people because of this  unbearable loss we are all experiencing. I am changing and i'll bet many of you are feeling the same thing happening. I will never be as I was and so my priorities and interests (when I try to find some) and all else is changing. The only thing I enjoy right now,and can find solace in is my yard and my dog. I am staying away from most people because it hurts. But, I try to see people and understand and just know that without my own loss I could be just as they are and might say the same type of things. A very gentle friend I have once told me that when people are bothering you by how they act or what they say just put a bubble of light around yourself and say to yourself about the person  "this person has come only this far in their own life".

Comment by Muuna on June 25, 2013 at 1:01am

Perfect description Kristin Renee!

Just like Angela, I also feel as though I may lose some friends because they just don't get it. I find myself drawing closer to those that have experienced a similar situation.

Comment by Emily on June 25, 2013 at 12:35am

Kristen Renee I agree!

Comment by Kristin Renee on June 25, 2013 at 12:31am

I read somewhere that the best thing someone can say to a person who is grieving is "I'm here for you." We move forward because time gives us no choice but that doesn't mean we're able to move on. For me at least, every breath I take without her still feels like a betrayal. It's like losing a limb, a piece of yourself is just gone. Eventually we will adjust but, at least for me I know I'll never be the same. I miss her with every fiber of my being and that will never go away.

Comment by Angela on June 24, 2013 at 8:55pm

Thanks Amanda.

Comment by Amanda on June 24, 2013 at 8:02pm

Angela, I try to say something simple like, "Thank you for your concern." Then, I put a little distance between us, emotionally and physically. Sometimes, I'll add something along the lines of "Everyone grieves differently." I also try to focus on the actual words that the person has said, and not all of the implications that could be behind them.

Comment by Angela on June 24, 2013 at 7:24pm

So what do you guys say to people when they make these remarks? I have lost a few friends during this process. Due to the things they say all those "should" remarks. that I should be better by now. I should move on and forget about all this. They just don't get it because they are not in my shoes. The people on here understands because we are all feeling the same loss.

Comment by Sue Waxman on June 24, 2013 at 7:07pm

Hello Friends,

I basically grieve alone. My mom has been gone since June 26th 2011. Two years in just a few days. Last week I had a horable week at work. I caved in and cried all day Sunday. A few bloody marys didn't help my emotional state. Picked myself up by the boot straps on Monday and marched on like a good soldier. I get so exhausted being STRONG when at times I feel so alone. I have no one in my life to hold be or be there and say "I love you". It sucks. I know how you all feel. One day at a time friends.

Comment by Sandra Nichols on June 24, 2013 at 3:12pm

I trulyl believe that people are all in different places in their lives and just about everyone means well when they talk to us in the midst of our deep grieving. but still, i am staying around people that truly understand. i am just too sad to listen to the others right now.  

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