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Comment by Ann Edmondson on May 18, 2013 at 1:44pm

Bad day -- I just want to scream. I was at our local store earlier when someone commented about the fun and drinking they would be doing this Memorial Weekend coming come. I asked them did they even care what it really stood for. They guy looks at me and says  sure "it's for being off work for 3 days and getting drunk." I stared back in disbelief and shout NO! It stands for the men and women who gave up their lives so you could be free to party when you want! My son was one of them you fool!" I then got in my car with my Gold Star tags and left. I was so mad I forgot to go in the store to buy the groceries I went after to make it worse, no I have to go back there. I pray he got the message!! Now I am going to go cry for a while..........

Sorry - had to rant somewhere! Thank you for listening! Hugs to you new parents out there. Sorry you are part of this group. Would not wish it on even my worst enemy!

Comment by Connie K on May 18, 2013 at 11:45am

I agree Adrienne. Great insight Michele. You both said it perfectly. All the memories flood in , from all ages. I just wish I had the one of him graduating this year like he as going to and enjoying the freedom and responsibility that comes with being an "adult". I miss my baby so much more every day. I want to say "Okay this is enough now. Come home, please." This is something we will never ever get past.

Comment by Michelle H on May 18, 2013 at 9:53am

Adrianne, once again, you said it perfectly. Those of us who have lost adult children, have also lost that baby we cuddled, the toddler who learned new things every minute of every day, the young child who amazed and amused us, the awkward teen who was learning about life, and the adult that made us wonder how it all happened in the blink of an eye. No, our loss hurts no less...

Comment by Teresa D. on May 18, 2013 at 8:23am

While this site can be very sad one thing it does for me is let me know I'm "normal".  It let's me know the things I feel and how I think is the same as every other parent that lost their child.  It's not where I want to be but at least I know I'm here with others who totally get it.

Comment by Teresa D. on May 18, 2013 at 8:17am

I agree Adrianne, many think because my Michael was no longer a little boy that it hurts less, well it doesn't. He was and will always be my Lil' Smurf. 

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 18, 2013 at 1:21am

I realize that most people think I have lost my adult son. My friends and family don't realize I have lost my baby, toddler, little boy, pre teen, teen, young adult, and my beautiful grown man. My best friend.

Comment by Grace on May 17, 2013 at 9:55am

one breath at a time..... one minute.... one day.... one month....4 years...  that's how you do it... one at a time...

Comment by Michelle H on May 17, 2013 at 9:45am

Adrianne, you expressed it perfectly. I think most of us would wish for our old kives back. This one really hurts. I can't quite comprehend how I can get up each day and "function," do the routine things of life. Somehow it feels like a betrayal of my son. Yet if he is safe and truly happy where he is, if given the choice to bring him back, I wouldn't. I guess I'm getting a deeper understanding of what it means to really love someone.

Comment by Michelle H on May 17, 2013 at 9:36am

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 16, 2013 at 11:54pm

I want my old life back. The one where I worried but never thought it could happen to me. I experience moments and longer time periods where I just feel sadness. Then it hits me so violently that he's really gone. I am sick within every cell of my body. It reality frightens me. I miss my son. I want those days back.

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