Thank you and I will join the other site. I am trying the best that I can to stay somewhat strong, but it's hard as I have put a lot of distance between myself and the little family I have left. I am so afraid that it is going to happen again. It was only a few years ago that I lost both parents 10 days apart and then my only & first born son. The one that I love so dearly, but if I loved him so dearly when did I turn him in because he might just be here today if I wouldn't of did it. I thought I was doing the right thing, but is the right thing sending you son away for 12 1/2 years and 5 years later he is dead? I am so lost, angry, and so heart broken that I will never be the same. I have to push myself to keep on living and not give up, because I taught my kids that giving up is never a option. I have had nothing but pain in my life from physical & emotional abuse, sexual abuse, drug addiction (which I have been sober for almost 14 years), my mom was a alcoholic (had been sober for 10 years before she passed) & drug addict (also she was free of that to), and that's not all of it and I feel most days now that I'm tired of this life I just need to rest. I need to be with the ones that never judged me, never walked away, never hurt me, who understood and always showed unconditional love, you see I don't have that anymore I can't trust no one & I can't talk to anyone about any of my feeling because either they are not right or it's a 100 questions of why do you feel that way. I am alone and lost in this messed up world & I don't want to be anymore. I know they say a lot of what I am feeling is normal, but it doesn't feel normal. Bet you are thinking why did I respond to that post, believe me I understand and it's okay.
Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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Thank you and I will join the other site. I am trying the best that I can to stay somewhat strong, but it's hard as I have put a lot of distance between myself and the little family I have left. I am so afraid that it is going to happen again. It was only a few years ago that I lost both parents 10 days apart and then my only & first born son. The one that I love so dearly, but if I loved him so dearly when did I turn him in because he might just be here today if I wouldn't of did it. I thought I was doing the right thing, but is the right thing sending you son away for 12 1/2 years and 5 years later he is dead? I am so lost, angry, and so heart broken that I will never be the same. I have to push myself to keep on living and not give up, because I taught my kids that giving up is never a option. I have had nothing but pain in my life from physical & emotional abuse, sexual abuse, drug addiction (which I have been sober for almost 14 years), my mom was a alcoholic (had been sober for 10 years before she passed) & drug addict (also she was free of that to), and that's not all of it and I feel most days now that I'm tired of this life I just need to rest. I need to be with the ones that never judged me, never walked away, never hurt me, who understood and always showed unconditional love, you see I don't have that anymore I can't trust no one & I can't talk to anyone about any of my feeling because either they are not right or it's a 100 questions of why do you feel that way. I am alone and lost in this messed up world & I don't want to be anymore. I know they say a lot of what I am feeling is normal, but it doesn't feel normal. Bet you are thinking why did I respond to that post, believe me I understand and it's okay.
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