JoAnn Siefert's Comments

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At 10:47pm on July 3, 2012, Kirstine Rushing said…

Hi JoAnn,

I rarely come to this site anymore because it makes me sad, but I saw your post about lung cancer and just had to come and say how sorry I am for your loss. I am the same age as your daughter. I am 34 years old and have 3 small children ages 7, 4 and 20 months old. I lost my 55 year old mother to lung cancer on Jan 22, 2010. We were best friends. She never smoked and just got lung cancer out of the blue. We didn't know she had cancer at all until she started to get a bad back ache, which was when it had moved to her bones. So she had stage 4 lung cancer when first diagnosed. I ask myself why all the time and no answer or rationalization ever makes sense. She so badly wanted to see her grandchildren grow up and be a grandmother and didn't even get to meet my youngest. It has been tragic to say the least. Not a day goes by that I don't cringe when I wake up knowing that I can't pick up the phone and call her like I used to every day. She was my best friend in the whole world and the one person I always had in my corner no matter what. Her words of wisdom are missed so much and I just love her so much its hard to even explain. I can probably relate more to what your daughter is going through. So sorry to hear about your husband's passing. I can't even imagine. If you are like me, you are sick of hearing people feeding you the stupid lines like "time will heal" or "she's in a better place" Time won't heal this wound. I just have to learn to cope better until I do see her again in heaven.  If you ever want to talk, my email address is kirstinerushing@hotmail.com. You can tell your daughter I am here if she needs me as well. It really is horrible, but it helps knowing that you are not alone in this. I don't come on the site very much anymore because it just gets me down too much. Hugs to you and your family! So sorry to hear you lost your mother as well!

At 2:58pm on July 3, 2012, joni said…
Dear Joann , welcome to online grief support. First off let me say how very sorry I am for your loss. I too lost my husband - on dec. 26 2011. This is a good site to come to for support and also just to let your feelings out. What has worked best for me is getting all the support I can. I attend grief group at hospice and have some good friends and family around. Also the word of God and lots of prayers. You are not alone through this process, tho I know how difficult it is getting up and going on- it has been 7 months since Melvin died...I still miss him greatly...but am learning how to go on. Sometimes it seems terrifying, am just lost...but this is a whole new way of learning to live. It will take time....love and hugs, Joni

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