WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

There are many ways to grieve. This means that the way you express your sorrow might differ from the way others do so. “Coping with a death does not follow a simple pattern or set of rules,” says the book Helping Teens Cope With Death. The important thing is that you do not unduly suppress your grief. Why? Because . . .

Suppressing grief can be harmful. Jeannie, mentioned at the outset, says: “I thought I had to be strong for my little sister, so I buried my emotions. Even today, I tend to suppress painful feelings, and that’s not healthy.”

Experts would agree. “Feelings denied or bottled up won’t stay bottled up forever,” says the book The Grieving Teen. “They will return when you least expect [them to] in the form of emotional flare-ups or physical ailments.” Suppressed grief can also lead to the abuse of alcohol or drugs, all done in an effort to numb the pain.

Grieving may be accompanied by confusing emotions. For example, some people feel anger at the person who died, feeling that the person “abandoned” them. Others blame God, thinking that he should have prevented the death. Many who grieve feel guilt for things they did or said to the person, since there is now no way to make amends.

Clearly, grieving can be a complex process. How can you get relief and be helped to move forward?

 WHAT YOU CAN DO

Talk to someone. You might be inclined to isolate yourself during this difficult time. But pouring out your feelings to a family member or a friend will help you deal with your emotions and keep this tragedy from overwhelming you.—Bible principle: Proverbs 18:24.

Keep a journal. Write about the parent you lost. For example, what is your most cherished memory of that person? Write about his or her commendable qualities. Which ones would you like to imitate in your life?

If you are plagued with negative thoughts—for example, if you cannot stop thinking about something harsh you said to your parent before he or she passed away—write down what you feel and why. For example, “I feel guilty because I had an argument with my dad the day before he died.”

Next, challenge the reasonableness of your guilt. “You cannot blame yourself for not knowing that there would never be an opportunity to apologize,” says The Grieving Teen. “To suggest that one must never say or do anything that might call for a future apology is simply not realistic.”—Bible principle: Job 10:1.

Take care of yourself. Get adequate rest, sufficient exercise, and proper nutrition. If you do not feel like eating, have a number of healthful snacks throughout the day instead of full meals—at least until your appetite returns to normal. Do not soothe your grief with junk food or alcohol; they will only make things worse.

Talk to God in prayer. The Bible says: “Throw your burden on Jehovah, and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22) Prayer is not merely an emotional crutch. It is real communication with the God who “comforts us in all our trials.”—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4.

One way that God comforts those who mourn is through his Word, the Bible. Why not examine what it teaches about the true condition of those who have died and the hope of a resurrection? *Bible principle: Psalm 94:19.

https://www.jw.org/finder?docid=102017048&wtlocale=E&srcid=...

Views: 64

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i miss mom so mush i do"
Apr 11
Susan E Marshall commented on Susan E Marshall's photo
Thumbnail

My husband

"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
Apr 6
Susan E Marshall and William Gardener are now friends
Apr 6
Natasha updated their profile
Apr 5
Angie Rowland joined Rita-Cecile's group
Thumbnail

LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief

Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Apr 3
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service