1. I really don't know what I would do without this site, knowing I can come on here and read  other peoples posts and know that I'm not going insane and I am indeed normal is a great help to me, I just cannot relate to people anymore, I have learnt that so called friends do not give a damn about me anymore, and im sick of people asking me "how are you, are you o.k", No I'm not bloody o.k, Andys still dead, and my heart is still shattered, do they think I'll suddenly wake up one morning and be like, oh I'm over it now, I'm alright,  I will never ever again be o.k, Today my mum said I looked tired and drained, what the hell does she expect, does she expect me to be glowing and perky, never gonna happen I'm afraid, this is me now sad , lonely, heartbroken and depressed,I know I say this in most of my blog posts.. but I want him back, why can't I have him back, why?

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Comment by Pamela philipp on October 11, 2016 at 3:44pm
I know what you mean because when I lost my husband my world ended I don't feel the same either I feel like a completely different person when I go out in public anywhere I feel lost and I find myself looking for him so needless to say I don't go out too much anymore I don't understand why people think it's just so easy like you just get over it or something how ridiculous they don't understand how deep that pain is I guess they never will until they experience that their self But you are absolutely right it does change you forever I am very sorry for your loss
Comment by Jessie on October 1, 2016 at 11:25am

My response to how are you doing is I am breathing. It is very hard to talk to most of my family also. I am the youngest of 7 but I have always  been the fixer everyone's rock. Well I  lost my rock and I am left with a hole that nobody understands. 

Comment by bluebird on September 25, 2016 at 4:18pm

I know.  My Mom said to me once that she just wanted her bluebird back (well, she used my real name), and I said I'm sorry, but that is never going to happen. I love my family, but the person I was, the person I should be, died with my husband.

I have asked my family to not ask me "How are you?" or "So, what's going on?", because the real answers will always be "Horrible" and "Nothing, and nothing ever will be", and I don't want to keep hurting them by saying that, so I would rather they simply not ask me. When other people (generally customers at work, people who don't know me) say "How are you?", I refuse to answer "Fine"; instead, I just "answer" with "How are you?".

Your friends and other people who ask if you are ok probably want you to be ok, both for your sake and because it would make them feel better.  They don't understand that our entire lives have changed, that the entire world has changed, for us. We simply do not exist in the same world as they do, anymore.

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 25, 2016 at 3:49pm

me 2 i wud of bean second if iv not fond ths ogs i wud of u so lern abot frinds famly u do on hear u can ventt as mush we need 2

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