I've never really blogged before but I used to keep a journal. This is all new to me but I figured it was time to Get my feelings out somehow.

It has been two and a half years since my mom died. I have been on the worst ride of my life these past few years. I feel as though I am at a stand still like I will never feel better. I just keep wishing she were here. I just can't help feeling bitter and angry that she's gone.

I am 23 years old but I feel like a child . I just feel so alone. I feel like I can't ever show how I am really feeling though. I wish I knew what to do. I'm so tired of being sad I'm so frustrated with feeling lost and alone.

I just wish I had someone to help me and guide me. I feel like my life is meaningless and has no real purpose.

Views: 115

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Jo on August 28, 2012 at 7:46pm
Thank you all for your comments and thoughts
Comment by Jayne on August 27, 2012 at 10:50pm

Jo, I too lost my mom this July. It has been so hard to cope. She meant the world to me and I find myself crying all the time. I read what you wrote and I am touched and could feel the pain. you can write to me if you would like to. I would like to talk to you, Jayne

Comment by Becky H on August 27, 2012 at 8:57pm

Lisa, that poem was very beautiful, and it too gave me some comfort. I believe my father is trying to let me know he is here, and is ok. My surround sound system keeps coming on by itself and its never done that before now. So it does make me believe, that your loved ones are with you whether they are alive or not. Jo, I am only 28, and I feel the same. Lost and like a child. I can't even talk about my feelings with my fiancee because I can tell it makes him uncomfortable, so I say nothing, which hurts too. This site has helped alot tho.

Comment by Lisa on August 27, 2012 at 7:54pm

Hi Jo

I know all too well what you have been going through. I am 39 and my beloved Mom passed away on January 18th of this year. We were very close and the loss shattered me. For months I had to force myself to get out of bed in the mornings.

 

Since early June I have been seeing a psychologist for grief counseling and find that it helps. However, I still have days when I also feel lost and alone. I am unmarried, have few friends because I was always a shy "Mamma's Girl" and unfortunately my remaining relatives are of no emotional support. Despite all this, I am determined to go forward and try to live a full life because I know that is what Mom would have wanted for me( I am sure that is what your mother would want for you too)

 

Take Care and God Bless

Lisa

**P.S. I recently came across a lovely poem that gave me some comfort. I would like to share it with you so here it is:

                                                   Death is nothing at all

Death is nothing at all,

I have only slipped away

into the next room.

I am I,

and you are  you;

whatever we were to each other,

that, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name,

speak to me in the easy way

which you always used,

put  no difference in your tone,

wear no forced air

of solemnity or  sorrow.

 

Laugh as we always laughed

at the little jokes we shared together.

Let my name ever be

the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effect,

without the trace of a shadow on it.

 

Life means all

that it  ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was.

There is unbroken continuity.

 

Why should I be out of  mind

because I am out of sight?

 

I am waiting for you,

for an interval,

somewhere very near,

just around the  corner.

 

All is  well.

Comment by Jayne on August 27, 2012 at 6:35pm

I feel so lost about losing my mom several weeks ago. my mom was my  best friend. my people do not understand how I feel. the pain is bad. this site has been helpful.

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service