Hey Tammy, Hope you are doing okay. I know that it is a struggle everyday since my Mom died I ask why everyday but I know God needed her more and one day I will see her again. Take care and God Bless You.
I sent you a friend request. I want you to read this:
We learn so much about ourselves on the road to recovery after loss. Not all of it is good, but all of it is important. I don't think there is a more important lesson that the souls can teach us, than to learn how to forgive ourselves for whatever we have done to ourselves and those around us because we are in pain. We can't hope to move on to a perfect world if can't see the importance of setting ourselves free from guilt, from anger and from pain. To forgive ourselves is to fix the soul, and lighten the load here just enough to be able to continue our journey of hope. – George Anderson
Tammy,so sorry to hear about your loss,but please don't feel guilty about anything.We all make mistakes,it's how we deal with them that makes us weak or strong!Did you do anything to feel guilty about?Probably,but did you mean it,was it intentional?Absolutelly not!!We ALL make mistakes,every day!Your mom forgives you,the hard part for us is to forgive ourselves.Don't get me wrong,your feelings are normal,it just happened.It takes awhile,but it will get better.If you would like to know what it's like in heaven,please go to Victor Zammitt web page.He's a retired attorney,and has investigated the afterlife for more than 20 years,using scientific method! has a free online book about the afterlife,and It should answer every question that you might have,and it will help you understand that the grieving process is because you can't pick up the phone,etc.i had the same painful memories as you.So if the book helped me,it should help you as well!Please,if you have any questions,feel free to e-mail me,that's why I'm here!:)
"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday.
My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine.
I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
"Today, I feel it.
It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April.
I am overwhelmed.
I am crushed.
I love you, Mom. I…"
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died.
For some reason, I do not feel crushed today.
But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community