Sandra Nichols
  • Broken Arrow, OK
  • United States
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About Me:
I need support form recent loss of my mom. My best friend. She lived with me for 8 years and then died from complications of cancer treatment. I feel lost and go between numbness to total grief that I can't stand.
About my Loss:
My mother passed one week before Thankssgiving this year. I am in shock, denial, and grief. I am not coping with my job well. I get angry at coworkers that ask me if I am having a good holiday. How can people ask that?
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Sandra Nichols's Blog

Crying

It is Monday morning and I am at work in my cubicle. Crying and can't stop. Finally, my sister has started crying after about 8 months from losing mom. It made me start crying because she is the one person left on this earth that I love unconditionally. It is all so sad. This life is so depressing. WHy in the world are we here? To go through grief that makes us so depressed that we can't function?  Life is just so sad and depressing, I can't think of anything good about it. I am not sucidal…

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Posted on July 23, 2012 at 9:30am

Will this emptiness and depression lift from my life?

This has been such a lonely weekend for me. My mom has been gone now 7 months. I"m so sad and the deep depression does not get any better. I try to stay busy but, that doesn't help for 24 hours a day. I"m crying right now and I still feel angry at the cancer institute for the chemotherapy on my mom. I think that doctors don't worry about elderlyl and just give them the treatments without thinking of how fragile they are. I honestly don't know at this point,  how this world can become a good…

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Posted on July 1, 2012 at 5:40pm — 7 Comments

8:30 am monday

I had a panic attack and couldn't sleep Sunday night. I should have taken something to sleep but, didn't know it would keep on. I"m so sad today that I can't cry. Sunday was hard. I laid in bed and slept.

As bad as this is, I still don't think I"m facing the reality of you being gone, mom. I so wish you could communicate with me. 

Love,

Sandra

 

Posted on June 25, 2012 at 8:37am

2:30 pm friday

Hi again mom,

I"m sitting here thinking about the weekend and torn between being glad I can be away from people and worried that I will have a panic attack while I stay in our house all alone.

I"m still praying that you are in a wonderful place, a place you deserve.

I"m still angry at the cancer doctors and think they should have made your treatments a lot less severe. Someday, I may forgive them, but right now I feel lots of anger.

I"m also angry at life in…

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Posted on June 22, 2012 at 2:23pm — 2 Comments

Comment Wall (9 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 2:44pm on July 9, 2018, Virginia G said…

Are you still a member?

At 5:50pm on July 24, 2012, David H said…

hi sandra

thanks for picking me as a friend

 

Dave

At 5:01pm on June 20, 2012, Mark said…

Sandra,  first of all I want to say I'm so sorry for your loss.  Second i want to say thank you so much for what you suggested.  The part about taking time each day to celebrate my mom.  I'm going to start doing that.  I know she'd want me to move fwd with my life and never consider giving up.

At 2:28pm on April 19, 2012, Storyas Fawnfeather said…

Hi Sandra.  Thank you for inviting me as a friend.  I hope you are feeling ok today.  I don't even want to say good, because I doubt any of us feel good.  But, I hope you feel ok.  Do you have a pet?  I got a dog after my dad died.  Actually, i think my dad sent me the dog due to after death experiences i had (have you seen that part of this website yet?), but I'll tell you that story later.  I just got home and I'm too tired to tell it now.  But, I have a dog.  This morning I took my dog to the office with me.  On the way, I ran out of gas cuz I'm so out of it lately I forget little things like that.  Well, Elbert - my dog who is named after my dad; my dad's name was Estil Elbert - was in the car with me.  While I waited for AAA, he climbed up on me and just put his face in mine and we rubbed our foreheads together, and it made me feel a little less depressed and made me feel connected to something (I rarely feel connected any more).  It was like he can sense how bad I feel, and he was trying to get through.  It helped a little. 

At 4:19pm on January 11, 2012, Bob Naples said…

Yes,there is a place where the spirit goes immediately upon passing over.If you would like to know more details,please go to the website of Victor Zammitt.He has a free e-book which goes into tremendous detail of the afterlife experience,and I'll think this will really help to give you comfort!!Be prepared,because what you are about to read may be the TOTAL opposite of what you've been taught to believe!:)

Keep me posted!

At 12:34pm on January 11, 2012, Bob Naples said…

All three of my kids were with me when I had my nde.It was my oldest son,Chris,who called 911,and if I had been alone,I would have died.After spending several years in a haunted house,I have never had any doubts about the afterlife.However,I did have doubts about where we would spend eternity.Thanks to the nde,I have no fear death,and I'm looking forward to the homecoming party that awaits all of us at the end of this long journey!

At 3:14pm on January 10, 2012, Bob Naples said…

Sandra,

The evening before my near-death experience,I saw my mom materialize about 12-15ft. in front me.It was 7 years after she passed over to the next life.The whole visitation lasted about 45 minutes,and I can't recall what we talked about off the top of my head,but I do have it documented word for word.My mom was mom,dad,friend,etc.all in one,and I once told her that I didn't know what i was going to do when she passed.She said if there is any way that she could call me home with her,she would try.The last memory of my visitation was mom motioning with her hands,calling me towards her.The very next day,I had my nde,and as I was going into the light,I could hear my 8 r. old daughter screaming for me not to go!!This broke my heart,and I asked for more time,and the next thing ii remember is waking up in the e.r...

At 3:23pm on December 28, 2011, Lisa Gladieux said…
I was so there with my mom and held her hand as well! While it was sad losing my mom, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 
At 11:51pm on December 20, 2011, MIchael A Ballard said…

Hello Sandra,

Very sorry for your loss, and we all are here for you.

Through my experience, this is the best place for support and friends.

Loss is terrible and we all know how you feel.

Hope to chat on here with you soon!

Peace and prayers,

Michael
 

 
 
 

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"i had a dream of my dad and i. he held me / hugged me and i held him back. it made me feel so safe and happy. he nor i spoke. i do remember saying something in my mind, something along the lines of "i am so glad you're here." /…"
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During the tragic loss of a loved one or having gone through several tragedies , be it death of a loved one, divorce , personal health issues, or getting older , ect. Sometimes the stress and depression compounded by grief can be debilitating and it may have us feel as if we are mourning our own deaths while we are grieving the loss of our loved ones , We feel as if our own lives are over , Being in this mode can make recovery a longer more confusing process for some. It can be uncomfortable to…See More
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I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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