Jan Duvenage
  • Male
  • Cape Town
  • South Africa
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About Me:
I'm 48 years old was married to my soulmate for 14 Years.
About my Loss:
I lost the love of my life, my dear wife to Pancreatic Cancer on the 19 th of April 2010 due to this unforgiving disease.

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 4:11pm on January 27, 2012, BeccA said…

Jan - I just read your post.  I surely agree with what you stated about that dreaded disease breaking you in every way having to deal with a loved one going through that. I lost my oldest daughter, 35, to pancreatic cancer December 2010.  She was married only 4 years and her only son turned 3 years last April.  Having raised her and her younger brother as a single parent left me feeling absolutely helpless to do anything for her.  Having her little boy grow up without her is tragic.    I am so sorry you are going through all the pain.  You and all on this site will be in my prayers.  Take care. 

At 4:01pm on May 24, 2010, Kirstine Rushing said…
Hi Jan,
I am so sorry to hear about your wife. And I am really sorry to hear that you had such a roller coaster of emotions with the supposed misdiagnosis to come right back around. What a nightmare. I too am where you are. I lost my 55 year old mother to lung cancer on Jan 22. She never smoked a day in her life, but got lung cancer, go figure. She was so healthy, it just doesn't make sense. But I don't think cancer ever does, it such a vicious diesease. My mom was not just my mom, but my best friend and we shared a really close bond. Words can't describe the pain in my heart, but I know you know what I mean. Its been 4 months now and my heart hurts more than ever. I pray that I will learn to cope better one day. It is so hard and no one understands unless they have been through it. I will keep you in my prayers. My mom was from England. I saw you said you were trying to go to the UK. Anyways, just wanted to let you know I am sorry and I hope this website helps you. I've been reading a lot. It has been helping. Hugs ((()))K
 
 
 

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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Amen Linda.......Today for whatever reason was a particularly rough day.  I am exhausted from crying.   I just don't know how long I can keep pushing forward.  I am definitely in the hate mode......."
2 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
9 hours ago
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Maybe open yourself up, try to ride that love and passion I see in you. You loved your husband so deeply, focus on that. Maybe we are still here because we need to evolve a bit more or do something that God wants us to do. looking back I feel you…"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Exactly If We are wrong we won’t know it, but we do know that we are energy (souls), basic physics says energy cannot be destroyed. Anything is better than existing here in this void!"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"If you focus on the light and the good, that’s is God! I have felt it, I don’t know anything about plans or why people get taken before others but I do know that wherever that next realm  is I’m ready to go I am not…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That's great that you have no doubt about the existence of an afterlife. I doubt there's a god, but if there is one I'm not convinced it's a loving God, as it allowed my husband to die young(-ish) and one week after our wedding.…"
yesterday
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Over the years I have thought that Bluebird gets it much more than almost everyone who has written about this - at least from my point of view. At the root of this, I think, it's the absence of their presence that hurts so much.  I…"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"bluebird I can’t help but hold out hope in reading all these entries from people that some of them made it to the next realm. That is the reason we don’t hear from some anymore, because they passed on with with their loved ones.  I…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you, Joe. It does help a little bit."
yesterday
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Jeff,  Amazing isn't it?  I keep asking myself how it is I could still hurt so much from having my husband no longer with me on this earthly plane.  Not because I don't know it isn't possible but more, what is it that…"
yesterday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I believe that every consciousness/spirit/soul is immortal.  I, or no one in our limited dimensional world can prove that right or wrong.  I can't prove my OBE either.  All I can do is share it.  Your original post…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you. I hope with everything in my soul that you are right about that, and I wish I shared your faith in that regard. If you and I have already discussed this, I apologise for repeating myself (my memory is not what it once was, and my…"
Thursday
bluebird left a comment for Martee
"I saw both of your posts on my profile. If nothing else, maybe rock-climbing and the like will help to distract you for a little while. And you're right, it is absolutely not fair that our beloved partners have died. I know that my husband and…"
Thursday
M Adams replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hope these rituals bring comfort to you, Martee.  I have kept the ashes of my husband as well, just don’t want to part with them.  It has been more than three years since his death — but I don’t feel like there is a…"
Thursday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Reading your posts, and many who post here, I think you're going to be joyously surprised when you pass over. "The worst thing about all of this is not knowing if my sweet, wonderful husband's soul still exists, as it…"
Thursday
Martee left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"So sorry for your loss and pain, my soulmate died 1/29/20, been so bad for me to. I don’t let people know too much, no way I want to be taken out of my house. I feel like some people just want to watch me crash and are more nosey than…"
Thursday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your posts. Even though you don't have absolute proof of an afterlife, your out-of-body experience seems to have provided you with some level of surety, which I think is wonderful, and I must admit I'm jealous of you for…"
Wednesday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, It doesn't make it easier so to speak.  What will help is when I allow my doctor to do some imaging, in the weeks or perhaps a couple of months ahead, I'll let him scan me, and since now I know something is spreading…"
Wednesday
Josephine Crawford commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thanks Ammy. I sometimes feel guilty when I am happy. Yes it takes time. Continued to all."
Wednesday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I kept my husband’s ashes, I keep them next to me all day, move them to his nightstand at night. Been 3 weeks..."
Wednesday

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