Hello....just wanted to check in on you. I apologize for not responding to your friend request sooner. I hardly ever access this site from my computer, just from my phone. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't "chat". Apparently, I can't from my phone just from the computer. I hope to hear from you.
I hope that this picture and the message give you comfort. Grief is a journey and each person travels the road differently. You make very valid points about breakups and how people seem to understand the long term agony they can cause but come so short in their understanding of the compelling grief experienced when we loose someone in death. The reality is that even though they have no understanding of what you are experiencing, there will be the day that they will come to "know" what you are going through. They will loose someone so close that they will remember every time they have told someone to "get over it". That will be when everything you have learned can lead you to empathize with them and help them through - even forgive...
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to cancer in December and understand your pain. I agree that it feels like it gets harder before it gets easier. I am in the Bay Area; was your mother enrolled in hospice? I was able to find free support in SF through Sutter Care and Home hospice. Pathways Hospice also offers free counseling and support groups to the community (regardless of whether your family had used their hospice services). Feel free to message me anytime. Sending you hugs.
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
"Over the last couple of days, I've had some real negative thoughts, scary to say the least. I know I'll never see her here with me again, which I know but can't accept, but today I questioned is she here with me in spirit? …"
"Marita, not that I am glad to hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living. At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok. That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise. And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead. It's not possible for me to accept it either. I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive. The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable. While I'm not in that…"
"Same here, Marita. Things I would have been able to deal with before (either before I met my husband, or while he was here with me), I cannot handle at all now. Any tiny problem is insurmountable. Everything is.
Morgan, I am truly sorry you are…"
i live with constant fear and anxiety. Every time I am confronted with a new problem I break down because my husband is not here to support me, to comfort me, to love me and it is a reminder of my loss. When things become so…"
Rosaisela is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
My whole problem with myself is I just can't accept my Husband's death and there is a not a thing I can do about it. I want things back the way things were. So to avoid all my breakdowns I try to numb myself with beer. I don't…"
"Avi, I felt something very similar. After a year the pain and shock of mom's death had eased somewhat, but the guilt increased. I learned that grief is a process that has many different facets.
I am really amazed by the folks who seem to…"
"Terrible,horrible, crippling breakdown tonight. I know what triggered it and it is something I have struggled with all these years and the closer I get to trying to solve it the worse the breakdowns are becoming. Problem is I am still unable…"