Courtney Boyke
  • Female
  • Cheyenne, WY
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Courtney Boyke posted a status
"I feel lost a lot of the time kinda more depressed than anything"
Aug 22, 2017
Courtney Boyke commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Hello, Sorry for your loss. In June my grandmother who was more like my mom than anything also a bestfriend. My family has been staying in her home because the home we were in was just falling apart and my kids were constantly sick from it. Anyways…"
Aug 12, 2017
Courtney Boyke joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Aug 12, 2017
Courtney Boyke updated their profile
Aug 12, 2017
Courtney Boyke is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 10, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
I have a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful girls, 2 are mine by blood the 3rd is my step daughter. I have 2 dogs and I love to workout and be outside. Love being with my family.
About my Loss:
My grandmother(was more like my mom) was the healthiest 70 year old I have known, Didn't take medication on a regular biases she took vitamins for almost everything and ate very well. She traveled, Hunted and gardened. She didn't act her age she acted like she was in her 20's and looked like she was in her 40's. About a year maybe year and 1/2 ago we found out she had a heart arrhythmia and she had surgery for an ablation, everything went well and was going great afterword. After taking a British ails trip she came home very tired (kind of expected) she still went about doing everything normal but with a slag. couple weeks after her trip she went to take a bath after being out in the garden all day. I thought it had been to long for normal bath went to check on her and had found her unconscious face in the water. trained as a CNA I had pulled her out and started CPR until the EMT's showed. I know I was trained for this but the entire time I kept telling the dispatcher to just keep coaching me to keep me focused and it helped. My husband had helped me call 911 and my kids were in the other room watching a movie and had herd everything they hadn't seen but I was so worried they had. I have had nothing but flashbacks, Nightmares and a lot of nights its harder to even lay down for bed. Eating is a new chore on my list for doing everyday.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I am a CNA.

Not Sure whats going on

I'm not really sure if this is in my head or if they are truly acting this way. I live in my grandmothers house (That's another story). When my aunt and uncle came over the last couple times to go throw my grandmothers things to separate they both seamed to act like i was the problem and i didn't want to look at me or even really speak to me. when they did speak to be it was more like i had done something to make them upset. they have also treated me as if i am just clamming everything of hers to be mine and they must remove anything without asking anyone anymore because i might sell it or i don't know. I am not one to sell things or do anything out of line so i am not sure as to what is going on. i know this is there mothers home and stuff i have no intention on just taking, i have been very calm and reasonable when it comes to separating her things between everyone. I wouldn't do anything like that and my grandmother knew that as well. but again i cant tell if I'm just overreacting and making things up in my head or if they really have a grudge against me with everything that has happened. To be honest it feels like they think i had something to do with her passing away.

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Latest Activity

Profile IconMaria and Robyn joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I wish you more than 20-25 years. No girl should lose their daddy when she is still so young."
18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Brett. A bit of rough phase but coping up to do things as mentioned by Selv. To do work to earn and other things.  One thing which is driving me is my angel (my 4 months daughter). Her name is Kiana and her smile is my driving force to…"
18 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am.…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted.  I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have…"
yesterday
morgan and joe kelly are now friends
Sunday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else.  So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved…"
Sunday
Profile IconCilvia and Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your…"
Sunday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, my mom said those exact words....."
Saturday
morgan commented on Alice Thompson's status
"Alice,  I regret not getting it together to write on Dec 2nd as I recall that was your anniversary of your husbands death date.  I have just been swimming upstream through the rapids.  Each year during the "seasonal"…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She also used to say, "I lived my life, now you have to live yours." "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You know what when my mom could not be resuscitated, her eyes were wide open and looking toward the right towards me as I walked in, she saw me I know it.  I shut her eyes.  I wanted the hospital staff to leave me alone.  They were…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Let those tears flow.."
Saturday
Alice Thompson posted a status
"Still here; still missing my love with all my heart; hoping we can all get through another lonely holiday season."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, your mom would have had it no other way. She saw you take your first breath. You saw her take her last. I experienced that as well. If I had my way, I would have gone before my mom. Is that selfish of me? Yes. I don't care. Losing mom was…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Dear all...the thought "What if I had died due to unforeseen circumstances and my elderly widowed mother had to grief my death?" crossed my mind many times. Knowing my mother, her world (of me and her) would have collapsed and she would…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I think you're right, Theresa. We are a sad bunch. I think our moms would be touched that we love them so much, but they would probably also want us to be happy and move on. I just don't think that's possible, nor do I believe that my…"
Saturday

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