Connie, this is a very raw time for you and those of us here who have lost our beloved know how you are feeling.......I am sorry you had to find us but for many of us this is a lifeline. I will hope you will find ways to cope with your pain. Each of us use different tools and much of it is an impossible task. Take baby steps. An hour at a time and sometimes only a minute at a time. Do what you can. Dont let anyone else tell you how and how long you need to grieve.
In the past five Xmases i have hibernated and only spoken to those who try to understand me. Those people are down to three. It takes too much of my deleted energy to go much further.
Read on here and you will see that losing your beloved is a lot more complicated than society will admit. But know your grief is valid and to be expected.
I just wanted you to know your post on a day like today did not go unnoticed. Take the best care you can. Come here when you need to. We understand.
BTW, even though I am trying to be consoling I wont kid you. This will be the hardest thing you will ever attempt to do and the fact I can even try to write something that reaches out to you is only through grueling practice. Most often I am very fragile and need support. I come here often and will continue to till my own dying day. I thank everyone here for being so honest so I know I am not crazy.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue. Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves. In reality, most of my underlying…"
I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words. Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
"Hello M Adams
Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda. My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back. I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
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"Thanks so much! It helps having others that understand. Some of my family is supportive & that helps. It helps just having someone listen that truly understands. I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.
Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
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