Hi Annette:  I don't really what to say to make you feel much better because I feel exactly the same way you do.  My husband of 20 yrs, Rick, passed away 3 yrs ago at age 45.  His death was very unexpected and even now I have to consciously make myself breathe.  I keep wondering what I will wake up from this horrible nightmare.  I also lost my mom just a few months later just as unexpectedly.  I still feel like it was all just yesterday.  I have not slept in our bed one single time since my husband's passing.  I never say I "lost" my husband and mom because I did not "lose" them, GOD decided it was their time but not mine.  I don't have any living.  My baby girl died in 1992 then I had to have a full hysterectomy so I couldn't have more children.  All I know to say is that GOD is the only reason I am able to keep breathing.  Have you heard Shania Twain's song that says, "It only hurts when I'm breathing.  My heart only hurts when its beating"?  Well, thats how I feel all the time.  I guess we can both wollow in our grief together.  I would love for you to email me at chloe.damar@aol.com....Chloe

Hi Annette,

Just stopping by to say hello. How are you?

Annette,

I was happy to see that you accepted my friendship request.  I am sorry that you are in such pain. Do you believe in God and the Bible?  Would it be ok to share some comfort from the scriptures?

I will keep you in my prayers...

Brenda

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

I keep asking God how much longer will I feel adrift. I know God says He has a plan and a purpose for my life. Right now I think it is just to be here for my kids and hope that I am right. But it is hard to focus on that when the love of my life is not here. I wonder how long it will be before I can look at his pictures without crying. I want to remember the good things most of the time but I miss him so much and it just makes me cry. Time is supposed to make it hurt less but that hasn't happened yet either. I cry out to God everyday for comfort and peace. I still wake up with anxiety attacks in the morning. I know nothing will ever be "normal" again but I sure would like to feel better.

I will pray for you too... I know the feeling of sadness of being alone. Even though I am raising two grandchildren, I still am lost without my husband. Its been 7 months now and some days are easy and then the nights are the worst. Everyone says to just get on with your life and I want to scream at them and say HOW!!!!!!!  and then there is all the people saying these are the stages of grief!!!!   I am very fortunate to have lots of friends and family for support  as I hope you do too. All we can do is stay strong in our love for God to get us through.. Take care of you.. do something for yourself that will make you feel good!