The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit. I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago. We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary this December 3rd. In 1982, I had what I called an OBE (out of body experience) which was published on the NDERF (near death experience research foundation). They classified it as an NDE. I was hit and thrown by a truck, felt nothing and found my self like an invisible cloud floating above my body. It was blissful like I could stay there forever. I saw things that I shouldn't had been able to see because of the position of my body. A thought of my pregnant wife suddenly flashed through my consciousness and thought to myself, no, I can't go yet. I dove back into my body seeing myself getting closer to it as I dove inside, yet it was so fast. That experience never left me as I can remember it like it just happened. Why am I telling you this? Because my spirit separated from my body. True, I didn't go all the way but it is enough to believe that there is conscious life after death. My wife and I had true love for each other as though we were one. We often talked about the fact that we will be together forever when we pass on throughout the years. When I held her in my arms the final hours, we spoke about the love we have for each other. It was nice that our grown children got there before she passed so she could see them. She smiled up at them and said she was sorry, feeling sad they were crying. She even told me not to cry and I said I can't help it, I love you with all my heart and soul. I gave her a final kiss. I asked if she believes that we will be together forever someday and she said yes. That was her final thought. Then she took her final breath. My first thought was that I have to go where she just went and I pray each night is my last. I have a few health issues that I hope will take me out soon. That's my only "till then", and will be my last thought when I go. My children knew our love and they actually pray for me to go to her. I tell them that when I go, don't mourn, Celebrate! Celebrate knowing that we are reunited where we belong, together. Yes, there are times when I wonder, but my OBE reinforces me.
The worst part is missing her physical presence, sharing our love for one another here. It's torturous at times and I'm sure it's the same for you. Missing their presence in your life.
My only suggestion is for you to think about how happy they are together right now. There are cases where seconds before the death of a person with Alzheimer's, regained all memory and recognition of those around them. These were reported by hospice caretakers. Their love will live on together as will their spirits as ONE.
My heart goes out to you. Alzheimers is a devastating long term drawn out disease to watch as our loved one loses contact with reality. I lived it out with my mom. It took seven and half years.
And some of the circumstances of your moms pre-death miic some of my own with my husband. The part that hit me was the they found stage 4 from a pain in her stomach. Same with my husband. And to liken it a step further I found him on the floor of our bathroom. I was getting ready to take him to his first oncologists appt. He was extremely ill after the operation to remove his several tumors but to find him as I did I am still reeling from the feeling.
Some posts on here get me good. Yours is one. I am still struggling daily to find reason to want to live. Stay close to your own husband, he can help you get through this. Life is the wave we all ride until our end. Too much to say and so little explanation.........
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Hi, Avi. I hope that we are all doing great as well. That's a lot to hope for. When I first lost my mom, the idea of doing great seemed impossible, and it still seems like it is an incredibly hard task. I think of what we are experiencing now…"
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.
God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her. Like yesterday, I found a small 3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me.
Joe, So true. That's exactly why I post here too. I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone. That consoles…"
I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all. Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
I saw your post late late last night. I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing. After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.
Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"